I was no doubt a different person pre-MS. The disease has managed to smash all of my old parts and replace them with new ones that are stiff and unfamiliar to me. As I learn to get comfortable with this new normal of mine, at the end of day, I just need …a hug. Just like my friend Judy of Peace Be With You. I have no choice now, but to keep moving forward. However slow that may be.

I Still Want to Shine

I remind myself
that apart from my MS
I am still intact.

I still want to shine
with kindness, mercy, and love
to light up the world.

Bruised but not beaten,
I embrace my good person
who now needs a hug.

Her poem sums up my wish for this new experience. I recognize my bruised ego but hope it hasn’t over shadowed my shine. To be honest, I don’t think it has. It’s just that with each new symptom lurking around the corner I temporarily succumb to an onslaught of negativity. I feel bruised and beaten. I drag my feet. Head held down. Tears ready to drop.

Then slowly but surely I remember and continue onward. Dragging whatever new symptom I have in tow. I want so much more than I already have. I hear the key is to want what you already have. Now be honest, who doesn’t want more? But all said and done, if nothing else, I choose to believe in my ability to adjust to the unknown. I just hope as I adjust you do too. Maybe we can muster the courage to shine together.

“When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find ways to do it” -Dr. David Schwartz

That alone gives me hope.