“But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.” ― Khaled Hosseini
Yesterday, after a doctor’s appointment, I got in my car and the radio was playing “Happy” by Pharrell Williams. I really like that song. Hearing it makes me feel so good.
The next song to play was “Rolling In The Deep” by Adele. I’m married but I can still relate to its “lost love” inference.
The melancholy message of “Rolling In The Deep” is totally opposite from the “Happy” song. Nevertheless, I love them both.
I see my blog as comparable to that radio station’s sequential music programming. Consequently, sometimes it’s happy and sometimes it’s sad.
Recently, I received a few comments and emails asking me why my posts are so negative. For those people that asked, I’ve decided to answer them here.
I didn’t realize so many of my posts were perceived as negative. I went back and looked and from my count most aren’t negative. They just reflect my life. I write about my journey living with MS. In doing so, I chronicle my experiences and feelings. And just like that radio station’s playlist, sometimes I’m up and sometimes I’m down.
Unfortunately, my life is not a Hallmark card. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. If I pretended it was, this blog would be full of lies. I promised myself that my writings will only tell the truth and sometimes that truth is ugly. So if I can’t always see the bright side of living with a chronic debilitating disease, please forgive me.
I am just like everyone else, I have my good days and I have my bad days. And I’m happy to say that my good days out number my bad.
I have loved reading your blog. You’ve put words to how I feel, what I’ve gone through and are still going through. I’ve been reading off and on since early afternoon and it’s now 2am. I told my husband don’t touch the computer when I went to the kitchen for a drink. I had forgot how I got to the blog and didn’t want to lose my place where I was reading. I told him I had come across someone who has the same type of ms I have and describes so well how I feel. Thank you.
Well said! It is what it is. That is why your blog has such a large following because those of us that know better, have no use for the glossy printed material put out by the medical community and pharmaceutical companies.
So many of us have to hide behind fake smiles and diluted responses to how we feel. Your blog and many others are places we can go to listen and verbalize our “real” journey!
Kim C
NIcole,
We are in this MS community together and should support one another. My weakness is strengthened by your words and your weakness is strengthened by our words of inspiration and support. Your truthfulness ensures others that they are not alone. Thank you for showing us the journey that you are on with this Dis-Ease. Take good care!
Negativity is a matter of perspective. I don’t think you’re negative. You just don’t sugar coat things (like me!) and some folks don’t like it (and they need to get over it!). You speak about YOUR life and how MS affects YOU. That’s not negativity, it’s the truth. Keep doing what you’re doing!
I don’t think anything you have written on this blog is negative. You are honest and I am glad you are.
Some say I have MS but it doesn’t have me. It has me and I cannot forget that on a daily basis. My entire life has changed.
I live in the moment and don’t project into the future. I would be miserable otherwise.
I look forward to your blog, don’t change.
After reading the comments posted thus far, I almost feel like in the nature of this blog entry I need to say something negative.
Alas, I am more the sunshine and rays of happiness type. It sounds funny, but I read your blog and Richard Cohen’s because both of you tend to deal with the day to day emotions of dealing with an MS harsher than I have experienced (fortunately). If you were all rainbows and kitten purrs, how would I justify some of my less flattering thoughts about my MS and how I deal with it?
hi Nicole,
Your insight into the unpredictability of MS is so right on.
some days are absolutely the worst and we can start to question everything.
Other days are hopefully better.
Everything is relative and your honesty is right on.
you are sharing your life with all of us and I expect nothing but the truth.
Thank you!!
Liz M.
Keep blogging. Its that simple.
Hi Nicolle,
Just keep it real like you always do and they’ll figure it out. That’s why I read your post every week, no fluff. MS sucks and some days do the same so if that’s what you’re writing about on any given day so be it. It helped me realize that that’s just living with MS and it’s ok. I do hope you’re doing well as can be expected these days and I’m on the road with #MSRuntheUS until 8/16 when I will run in their 5K in NY to help raise awareness and funds to find a cure for MS. It’s been a great experience and I hope that we can possibly meet in January in New Orleans where I’ll be running int the Rock n Roll 1/2 marathon with another MS friend who will be running her 1st half marathon. The date is 1/25/15 and I’ll email you as we get closer to the date. Thanks for your work and keep on keeping it real!
Your friend,
Tim
#MSRunnerDude
I always enjoy reading your blog and do not find it negative in any way. Too many times I find that people tend to sugarcoat the realities of MS and refuse to talk about the reality of our lives. Thank you for speaking the truth for all of us.
I just discovered your blog recently and, since I’m having a bad health week from MS, went on a little something of a reading binge. I did not come away with an impression of you being negative at all! Keep it real.
Too often I hear the cheerleader this isn’t bad you can make it of MS.. Then it gets down too it and I am like why didn’t someone tell me this. I love that you are real and that is why I subscribe to your blog. I want the reality of what my future will hold and how others that are going before me are deling with it.. If people don’t like it tell them to unsubscribe or go get a cheerleader.. I love your blogs!
Negative? Those folks must be in denial. You are educating people about MS and your well-written honesty is necessary for those both in and out of the MS community. That’s why I use the term “Straight talk” for my own work. Don’t change. People appreciate and can relate to us because we are for real.
Love your blog and appreciate your words.
You don’t have to explain your feelings to anyone especially not to strangers. The way you feel is just that.
Like a radio station, if they don’t want to listen they can change channels.
I have NEVER seen a negative blog from you. If anything, you say what we all want and need to say!! To those people I suggest them not read it!! Each time it’s like you’re speaking for me. Thanks for putting things in perspective. For persons without MS or any other debilitating disease, or even those with MS that has not impeded their abilities, you can expect negative comments.
Great one Nicole. Thank you so much for your honesty and for the way you sum up your emotions in this blog. Life with MS is hard and I for one appreciate that you share that with us describing with both the good times and the bad.
How are you friend?
Nicole ,
I admire your honesty as it helps all understand that we are not alone in this day to day existence with MS. You are a breath of fresh air that I look forward to each Tuesday as you display your courage with your humble and frank blog about your MS. I appreciate you!!
You’re chronicling your truth and I think the good, the bad and the ugly are a beautiful reflection of what makes you unique Nicole and I love you for that!! TRANSPARENT!!!
Nicole,
I can definitely relate to your reaction to the comments. Let me offer this: just as your life has ups and downs so do the lives of those who leave comments. Their reaction to your blog entries is all about them – not about you. I hope you are not swayed by comments, whether they be negative or positive. Everyone has an opinion. Please take what resonates for you and let the rest go. I love your blog — keep it up, and all the best as you move through your journey!
As a blogger myself, I struggle with finding the balance in my posts between being real about this !@#! disease and also reflecting my attempts to find meaning and even joy on this journey. The truth is, the real not-so-good moments may outnumber the victories I achieve in my goal of finding meaning and joy. But, deny the reality of what is happening to me? Nope. That doesn’t serve me or my readers. I think you do an amazing job. And, life in general, is usually not a Hallmark card. Thank you for what you do.
Hi Nicole “Happy” is my go to song as well. In regards to your blog post I personally feel that you are expressing the truth. You have taught me a lot. Positive or negative there is always a lesson in your posts. Thank you!
ALWAYS look forward to your very candid posts. If I want a Hallmark card, I know where Walgreens is located!
I think your blog is just right! I look forward to reading your posts every Tuesday. Keep writing whatever you want. I find it helpful to share at least part ofthis journey with you. Amy
I am so happy that you are set in the truth in this blog. I do not find it negative, more honest. Maybe it is because so often I am going through similar thought processes, and I thank you for putting words around them.
I so prefer a truthful approach to the effects on one’s personality than the smiling pictures of MS’ers proclaiming the unattainable results of the latest medications. You speak the truth!