“Happiness is a direction, not a place.” ~ Sydney J Harris
Happiness is what we all want. We think we know what it looks like. What it feels like. What it’s wearing and what it drives.
But we don’t know.
I learned a long time ago that having multiple sclerosis is like traveling on a journey. I thought for me, the endpoint was happiness or at least contentment in this imperfect body. But neither one is a state that I’m going to stumble upon later in life. It’s the journey that is important. It’s the day to day living the life you have. I’ll be the first to admit there are potholes involved. But life happens in the journey itself…bumpy or not.
I read over and over again that there are different routes to happiness. I admit, I have a picture of what success looks like. In this society it’s hard not to. But when I start to stress about social norms, I remember this quote:
“The common pattern in all this is choosing the right road for the type of person we are. Finding happiness at as many places along that route as we can. So it’s important to look at all the good things in our lives and to enjoy them to the full right now. That is much more likely to bring happiness than waiting for it to appear around the corner.” – Alex Lloyd
So, are you at least moving in the right direction?
I’m a little slow this week; but still got to read this & glad I did. It’s really tough sometimes to put things in perspective…especially when things are so blatently in your face. Who really, completely understands each and every symptom that comes your way? How, on that particular day, you are going to be able to deal with it? You go from being a cheerleader for others to wallowing in your own private hell…and trying to smile about it because the outside world demands nothing less than that or that lovely phrase that if, by some miracle, MS doesn’t have you, you’ve got it’s number & aren’t going to be caught dead dialling it.
With a functionally blind 2 year old and 3 dogs, I am constantly reminding my 2 older kids how much fun they had making the drawing or lego castle which was just destroyed.
“If you have fun in the creation, you should have fun in the recreation. Can you do it better this time. Maybe you should try the window seat, the table or your room as the next location for its first improvement.”
I’ve turned down applying for promotions to many jobs because I fear I wouldn’t enjoy them. Do what you like doing and about which you enjoy learning more. Life is too short, and MS reenforces this every day. It’s a crappy trade, that knowledge for dealing with MS, but I’m loathe to give up that for which I’ve already paid.
Be here now is my mantra. I have to live in the moment.
Lisa, I like that one. May have to use it too!
Nicole, so very well said! It is the journey, not an end point destination. If you miss the journey, and get to the end point you have gone too far….we all know what the end is for all of us. At that point it is too late…..journey over. Today I still have pain and burning in my legs and back along with some fatigue, but I am visiting Southern California and today I am going to ride along the coast, enjoying the cool ocean breeze and whatever else along today’s journey happens to come along. No hard plans…..just moving along moment to moment, it is ok to not be ok at any point. I almost cancelled the trip because I was afraid and the journey was unfamiliar with my health challenge. But so far I am ok…..MS can come along with me on my journey. Kim C
Kim, thanks for reading. It’s nice to know that I’m not on this journey alone.
Good one Nicole.. have to believe!
Kathy, An everyday challenge!
I really look forward to reading your blog posts each week. I wish I had found you sooner but I am happy that I spent two hours reading your old blog posts today. Thank you for sharing!! Amy
Amy, Wow! Hours, really? I’m flattered. I do come out with new post on Tuesdays. so don’t hurt yourself
God willing I am Nicole. I know my days are ups and downs and when I have migraines (like this morning that I woke up to added to the mix) nothing is a sure. But who ever said life was was guaranteed to be any certain way to start with? One day a person could be rich next and next day poor, one day have job, bext day not-one day healthy or thinking so and the next day not. Isn’t the saying the only 2 things certain in life are death and taxes ;-)!
I do my best to find the positives in life….sometimes that is a MAJOR challenge! I know I am blessed when I see how this med which again just as Tysabri did, scared me to death is working for me….my husband’s encouragement as well as following the tweets of a former physician I had who I totally would put my entire life in his hands (he is that good-in VA though & I’m in MA now :-() so knowing that this med has me back ti functioning even better thab Tysabri did-still doing natural things too though- has me very much encouraged.
During the periods when my hands didn’t work so great or when my eyes were totally messed up, I think that made me the most unhappy and “they” say that you take your anger and frustrations out on those closets to you…..very true atleast at times for me…otherwise I internalized it. Not good either. M
So basically this med, the BG-12/Tecfedera whatever has ne basically back to old me overall….including my type A self…which makes ME happy but will drive my guys nuts! MS has been good for me since it forced me to relax my expectations of myself-no longer HAVE to have everything perfect but since I feel better that feeling is back and not so sure my guys will enjoy that. They like messy apparently 😀 but that truly goes against my grain….but slowly adjusting so not to overdue to make sure I don’t crazily relapse as has been my pattern for so long….I’m more of a Relapse relapse relapse….find a drug that works for 1 to 2 years no huge issues but never really better then start relapsing a lot and they take me off drug, wash me out, steriods and start new one, if that works great otherwise steriods asap….no meds for while and just relapse over and over a bit but no new lesions thankfully-1st 30 were enough apparently 😉 but Tysabri shrank most of them actually so again another Blessing……so every single day I just look for something to be happy about-lately its these goofy solar (i previously bought a ladybug 1thinking my cat would like-nope! So told hubby he hadn’t bought me flowers these would last and after we got home put it w/ ladybug jokingly saying now she wouldn’t be lonely-all I got was an eye roll from hubby for that one and my 10 yr old son telling me “not funny enough”as he does)flowers we got at a $store- this one w/ 3 daisy heads going back and forth is funny to me! Whatever makes YOU smile i(s good ;-)…..
Fatima, Thanks before reading. I never would’ve imagined that it would be this complicated answering comments, but I truly do appreciate them. eyes to seek out the positive, sometimes flying into the negative. not for long though!
Thank you, Nicole. I needed to read this this morning.
Take good care!
Arletha, Glad to be of service!