The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. ~John Vance Cheney
The last couple of days have been painstakingly rough. Even though I had my depression medicine changed, I still find myself crying all the time. Which is embarrassing. I hate crying in front of my husband.
The funny thing is, nothing has really changed. I haven’t lost any new functionality. But still the crying remains.
One time between sobs, I tried desperately to explain to my husband what was wrong but I had no answers. It’s not only frustrating for me but for him too. This worries me because I believe there’s only so much of this he is going to take. (Probably not true but that’s how I think sometimes.)
Shortly after I tried to explain how I felt, I excused myself to the ladies room. Minutes later, I reemerged with the answer.
My cycle was on!
I was so excited because I realized I wasn’t crazy, just emotional due to hormones. Sometimes I forget that I am an ovulating 39-year-old woman. And yes, it is typical for me to have such a sporadic emotional ride. The doctor has even offered to give me medication for it. Maybe I should take her up on the offer.
Problem solved, until a week later and I had yet another crying spell.
Oh no!
I guess crying comes with the (MS) territory.
Good post. I’m sorry you’re feeling blue. Sometimes I have crying jags come out of nowhere, or something will trigger one. I think that we have a lot of gradual losses and there is a grieving process that just, for me, never seems to end. Ya got one thing covered – another one pops up. MS for me is like whack a mole. And I lost hormones from high dose chemo a long while back 🙁 so I can’t blame that anymore. I wish I could take an anti-depressant. But I end up with headache, stomach and sleep problems with even little amounts of them. I try to keep up a good attitude, but sometimes I wonder who it’s for. I think that just makes people think things are more bearable than than they are! (I don’t know if this is making sense.) Thank’s for putting this out there, Nicole.
Vivian, God must have heard your prayer. thanks. today is a good day!
So nice to meet you in person Nicole!!! Hope you had an easy trip back… I wonder if you are familiar with Pseudobulbar Affect. It is a neurological illness that is defined by excessive crying and/or excessive laughing and many people with MS have it. I just mention it as there is an RX for that. Don’t know if that’s what you’ve got going on or if the RX will work for you but thought I would throw it out there. What’s one more pill right??
Yvonne, Yes it was super cool to meet you in person as well! I really did mean to get a book from you. and yes I have heard of pseudo-balled . As a matter of fact I’m on the drug for it as well too! so far so good. Thanks for commenting.
Can I ask what is the medication? Can’t take the SSRIs. 🙁
Hi Nicole crying must be in the air! I too have been overly weepy and I’m not sure why. Thanks for sharing with us each week. I hope tomorrow is a brighter day for all of us.
Pam, Me too! hope you feel better soon!
I still remember being on IV steroids and unable to stop crying. It was crazy. I was watching Independence Day with Will Smith. I was crying and laughing at myself crying at the same time. I had to laugh at myself, or I think I would have wanted to give myself something real to cry over. It’s bad to lose our bodily function. It’s worse to lose cognition, but somehow losing emotional control feels like an even more intimate loss.
Geof, It definitely would be.
Completely normal…I cried at my MS support group last night. I get frustrated at myself for having feelings and crying. I guess I see myself as this strong person and I think I should not cry…..but it happens. Completely normal.
Siox, Thanks for that. I feel the same way too. this time the crying was just a bit too much!
It breaks my heart to hear that you’ve been crying, but I completely understand it. I want to cry quite often anymore. There are normal everyday tasks, like brusing my teeth, that upset me like crazy anymore. Who knew brushing teeth could be sooo difficult sometimes? I hope things get better for you soon – and I thank you for sharing this. I know it can’t be easy to let others know these types of things – I sure don’t care to share my troubles with anyone.
Laurie, They have gotten much better! thanks for reading.
There’s nothing wrong with crying, Nicolle. It’s a basic human emotion and is even cathartic, letting out a release make may help us feel better in the end.
With MS, you (we) have every right to cry. It does us good sometimes. So go ahead. You deserve to have yourself a good one. Then let the corners of your mouth go up again into a great big smile.
Cathy, Got it. today is a good day!
Boy you hit the nail on the head with this blog post!! I look forward to these posts weekly because you are so descriptive and raw, I even recommend family members who want to learn more–visit your site.It is methodically put together, I had this spell last week and it’s used late at nite. I just cry and try to think what did I do in my past health wide to bring it on.No sense dwelling in the past.Its hard to be ill because everyone wants to heal you!! Have you ever encountered this; they want to know what you are going through but then if you disclose this then you are complaining. I am at such a fork in the road with family and friends sometimes and that makes me sad!
A.I. Thanks for the sincere compliment. thanks even more for sharing my site! I agree it’s hard to talk about this disease with friends without complaining.
Nicole,
I just said a prayer for you as I know the struggle of this disease. I admire your honesty as you are helping the rest of us who are silent ! God bless you!
Vivian, God must have heard your prayer. thanks. I feel much better now.
I am glad you are feeling better !! I cried today and it made me feel better. Remember to stay around positive people as it is important facet of this ! I try to keep humor , prayer, piano playing, exercise with friends in my daily routine! I was glad to see that you exercise in the pool.