It sounded like a typical response from a typically ignorant person. These are the times I like to pat them on the head like a child and tell them “off you go”. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t let ignorance bother me anymore, it is too much of a waste of my precious energy. They can’t know what they don’t know before they come to know it, therefore are totally ignorant and speak from that ignorance (completely out of their butts). I generally feel that if a person is ignorant on a topic, they shouldn’t be offering opinions out of that ignorance, they should try to educate themselves. Honestly, I pity the folks that do this because one day they’re going to have a rude awakening and a crash course. They’re going to experience some of the same things we have, people not understanding, discounting, ignoring, discriminating, avoiding, treating them poorly, and will be forced to adapt in relative isolation. No person faced with constant adversity can remain positive even 90% of the time, even 80% of the time, people seem to think that those suffering should have the bandwidth to do that because they have not the first clue. I strive for about 60% and keeping much of the 40% to myself unless I can pepper it with humor. So, “off you go Mr./Ms/Mrs ignorant, it’s not worth me wasting my precious energy on educating the likes of you, when you can do that yourself (and have the energy to). Clearly if you can say something so ignorant/insensitive, you’re not worth the effort. Good luck with your healthcare future.” My latest approach. 😉

“Can’t be that bad…” try being in chronic neuropathic pain, have constant vertigo so you’re lurching and spinning nauseatingly 24/7, the parts of your body you can’t feel are either burning or tingling maddingly nonstop like you have napalm on your skin, you can’t feel your feet (or much from the neck down) so can’t drive… so you then have trouble getting the things you need, or doing the things you need to do… you can only walk a few blocks, then you’re down for days afterwards… you don’t have money falling out of your pockets for assistive devices. You need to nap a lot, have trouble with your eyes because of the vertigo/nystagmus so have trouble reading/writing/typing, have cognitive problems and bad brain fog… have I mentioned the napalm on my skin? Twitching/spasming muscles all the time, feeling like you’ve got hot or cold water running down your legs randomly… feeling like you’ve been hit by a bus or are too bruised to set your limbs down from nerve pain… Problems with bladder and bowl… Throw stage 4 Endo on top of that so internal bleeding every month… Nah, can’t possibly be that bad… if you are a complete idiot (directed at anonymous ID10T of course). Honestly, people need to learn to think critically and ask questions instead of making assumptions, because as my dad says, “we all know what happens when you ASS-U-ME, you make an an arse out of U and ME). But, their comment wasn’t about learning, it was about telling you where their thinking is at (which is ignorant and ridiculous, so I now just treat those opinions as such. It’s like your hairdresser telling you how to build a rocket ship, nod, smile, forget they said anything as soon as you’re gone because it’s nonsense lol.)

Good job on your response though Nicole… I used to try to educate too but like you I find that people often prefer to live in their little “happy” bubbles, and subconsciously desperately try to stay in denial and avoidance of anything that might tarnish that special bubble. That’s why it hits some people so hard when they end up with a chronic health condition themselves, positivity bias. Everything thinks it can’t possibly happen to them, even when that doesn’t match the stats. I find these folks really don’t want to know or learn, they basically reach out to make *themselves* feel better for you daring to put a different reality near them, and once that task is done their learning is over. Maybe they can be converted to being more thoughtful and less ignorant, if their limited notions are challenged. I admire you for taking that on. I stopped a while back. When someone genuinely asks more about MS, that’s when I can give them a sober description of what it’s like, the effects it can have and how I manage. I try to pepper a lot of humor in there, as well as all of the creative solutions I’ve come up with in order to get around the challenges… I’ve noticed that people tend to want to learn more when it is approached in a bit of an unorthodox way. The “let me tell you what I think” people that haven’t got the first clue? I pay them about as much mind as an speck of dirt on the floor. Every few days I sweep it and put it in the pan, then smile and go on about my day. Trash in, trash out.

Excellent quote, you nailed it. And thanks for answering anonymous for those of us who have run out of patience and just sweep them in the bin. Your courage and energy to take that on is inspiring!

Keep moving forward, Nicole. you are such a brave girl who has become an inspiration for many other people. I know life with MS is hard but nothing is impossible. Just know that there are always people all around the world who root for you any time, any place.

Dear Nicole thanks for your reply to anonymous. I think you are very courageous and have helped me a lot over the years = thank you and have a happy Thanksgiving.

As I have always said and lived by as well as taught my children NEVER JUDGE A PERSON TIL YOU HAVE WALKED A MILE IN THEIR SHOES!!!!!

My pain is MY pain, not yours. How amazingly ignorant you are for dismissing my feelings. And please note that I am not complaining or looking for sympathy. I am merely looking for understanding. In my particular case my MS causes me short-term memory problems, walking difficulties, arm weakness, sleepiness at the most inopportune times, difficulty sleeping due to restless leg syndrome (RLS), and the list goes on. I have a large host of doctors and therapists who aim to make my life a bit easier (and my wife’s!). I am 70 yrs old and have been dealing with this *^%$@ disease since first diagnosed at age 29. MS is a total ‘pain in the arse’ but you might notice that not many MS-ers complain too loudly. Most of us just put our heads down and plow forward. Complaining is a total waste of energy — energy that we need to conserve for our families!

Seriously? Why bother to comment at all? And why say you’re strong and then dismiss you. Those of us who read your blog do so because we love you and we want to hear about your journey, honestly. If you are someone who can’t handle honesty, then read something else. Plus, it would seem to me that one of the goals of your blog is to share awareness. Awareness doesn’t work if someone doesn’t understand what to be aware of! MS is real, the struggle is real and if you don’t want to know about the struggle, then don’t read My New Normals. I’m sorry my friend. I bet this reader is someone known for their regular backhanded comments.

Wonderfully said, Nicole!!! I continue to admire your strength and attitude. You are an incredible person.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Michelle

Love your response. You are real and honest. Please never change.

Nicole, may God continue to give you the strength to use your voice, platform and gift of writing to educate, inform and inspire others! Happy Thanksgiving!

Sorry you had to see that ignorant reply. Hopefully your eloquent response might make them see things a little differently!