“I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.” ~ Albert Einstein
That awkward moment after seeing a film and someone ask the question, “Did you enjoy the movie?”
How do you answer when you have no idea what you just saw on the screen? I usually say it was great. Then I eat more popcorn so I don’t have to talk about what we just experienced.
I’m sitting on my living room couch. Ready to watch a movie. My husband is in the kitchen getting snacks. I can hear the microwave carousel spinning. The smell of butter and calories are filling the room.
Lately I appreciate the process of getting ready to watch movies more than actually watching. It’s not because the program is boring or I fall sleep. Most times I pick what we see. It’s that I just don’t understand the storyline. And I’m too embarrassed to say anything.
It never fails. I get confused half way through the story and then I’m lost.
To hide my uncertainty, I laugh when everybody else laughs. And I cry when people look sad. Also, movie flashbacks are the worst. I get so disoriented.
My bewilderment doesn’t stop with films. It’s also with books. I love reading. But the latest New York Times best sellers go over my head. Plots are too complicated for me to follow. Two days on one chapter doesn’t seem right.
I’m even baffled by normal conversations. When someone tells a joke, I wait for the punchline. And I always laugh too late.
I know brain fog is one of the main symptoms of multiple sclerosis. I’ve been dealing with it for years. But I hate when I get confused. And I know it’s not my fault. It’s because my head isn’t right. There really is nothing I can do but wait until it passes.
I can hear the microwave bell ringing. I know that’s the cue we are about to begin the screening. I pull a blanket over my legs. My husband comes back to the couch. I am very determined to understand the movie. But I’m also prepared to pretend to understand the movie.
He looked at me and asked, “Are you ready?”
I said, “Of course I’m ready.”
Then I pulled the popcorn close to me, just in case.
I feel you! As I also struggle with some kind of face blindness, I have a hard time distinguishing between characters that look similar – e.g. two men that both have short black hair.
What helps me is to be open about my confusion when watching a movie or a series with my husband or my best friend and her family. I ask questions. We discuss the storyline and reflect on what has just happened. That helps me to sort things out. Sometimes, when watching a series, I will also consult Wikipedia and re-read the story (always trying to not spoiler myself).
All the best for you!
Anne
I have been thinking about this post since I read it. Writing coherently about how hard it is to think coherently it’s an incredibly difficult thing to do. One of the main reasons why there is so Little understanding of how difficult it is for MS sufferers to think logically, it’s because writing about it or even speaking articulately about it it’s incredibly difficult. It’s so much easierTo quantify numb patches of skin then it is to explain how hard it is to follow film or remember an appointment. Thank you for writing about this!
Well written. Ill be sure to start eating more popcorn! lol or maybe chips instead,so I do not choke on corn hulls with my swallowing issues. I have to turn movies off and find shorter things to watch and then….sometimes, that does not even help. I really can not stand when I lose track in conversation, asking someone to repeat and still not get it! humiliating. I GET it and I GOT it. You are never alone. Stay strong and be safe.
Hi Nicole, I recently saw the series ‘Watchmen’. I appreciated & could grasp the true storyline of racism & hate, but the whole,weird sci-fi aspect was of no interest and way over my head.
Imagine trying to write books. People keep asking me when the next in the series will be published. I don’t tell anyone I keep trying to write, but I get too befuddles to follow my own plots.
Mostly I understand what’s going on But don’t ask me to remember at 5 minutes after the movie ends
Hello Sisterfriend Nicole! Once again you have put into words what many of us are experiencing and not able (or brave enough) to say out loud. Movie flashbacks are the worst! Continue to do you because you remind the rest of us that we’re not alone.
Blessings Nicole. I totally understand what you are expressing. I can watch a “good” movie especially one that is recommended and by the end of the movie please don’t ask me what happened. I enjoy the movie, book, play etc. while I’m watching and as soon as it ends it’s like I didn’t watch anything at all. Well, we do the BEST that we can and savor the moment. Take good care!
Love the picture but most of all your honest description.
I hate when that happens! Movies with a lot of characters almost always confuse me. Not so bad in books, when I can go back and figure out who these people are. Netflix or HBO or one of them has a feature that pops up on the side of the screen (I think they call it “X-Ray”) that offers some details about the characters in the movie. Very helpful in those, “Who is that?” moments. I’m so glad to know it’s not just me!