People were in line an hour early at the Barnes and Noble on the West Bank of New Orleans awaiting the arrival of Spike Lee who was signing copies of his documentary, “If God is Willing and Da Creek Don’t Rise.
I just heard someone say, intense grief for a loved one subsides a bit, but the sadness never goes away. A person learns to live with it. I could relate.
I carry sadness when I accompany my husband to the park. I go because he likes me to. I never told him how gloomy it leaves me. It’s odd because on one level I enjoy the serenity of the park, but on another it ignites a personal pity party for one.
So it’s safe to say we (sadness & I) go the park together.
I knew it could be a sticky situation. I use to run 2 to 4 miles there. I sort of compare it to Sam Malone (the recovering alcoholic) from Cheers working/owning his own bar. So, on some level I sit at the picnic table with my laptop loaded with Spanish programs and patiently wait for Tommy. I arrive a tad bit sad. I leave proud and very sweaty. This Louisiana humidity does not discriminate. It’s hot and sticky for everybody!
We go shopping but it’s just not the same. My point of view is obstructed and odd. Plus, if I wheel myself, it’s not for long. It’s just too much for my stamina. Just looking through clothes on a rack is cumbersome. One time I even had an accident in a Marshall’s dressing room! Let’s just say I haven’t been back there since. That was rough for the both of us!
Remember my recumbent bike? Well, sadness would accompany me on the bike, but I’m usually too busy trying to keep my heart rate in my target zone for 10 minutes! The point is that’s my workout! 10 minutes. But for that brief time I put on my headphones, iPod and heart rate monitor and sadness fades to black!
Read my happy comments about Spike Lee in a New Orleans Times-PicayuneInterview.
Well Nic, I will help you along and try to keep pity at bay, how’s the Spanish going? One thing you are, and that’s dedicated. A dedicated wife, dedicated daughter, dedicated to what you set your mind to accomplish, dedicated student of Spanish, and most dear to me, a dedicated friend.
When you see Pity again, ask him to catch the Midnight Train to Georgia. He’s not welcomed around here anymore! And the next time things fade, well I hope it fades to a bevy of pink flowerbeds and rose petals!
Loving you more and more with each word you write.
Daraka
Daraka, well you should be caught up now! Thanks for fitting me in! LOL Georgia?!! That’s so cute. You are my true champion, because what one my call dedication the other may say obsession! It’s a fine line. But thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow. When I saw Spike I wanted to scream about my story and website, but I got an objective party advised me not too!
Nicole
Grieving is a process for sure. I am not sure if sadness is a bi product or a part of? I can jump right back to step one of the process at anytime. Whether it be for a loved one passed or abilities lost.
Acceptance can be fleeting at times.
Jan
That is so true! “acceptance can be fleeting “!
An accurate description indeed. Sometimes I still cry about not walking. I haven’t done that in years!
Nicole