Today is different. I’ve been having increasing difficulty typing. I previously promised myself that if this ever happened I would use assistive devices available to me. That is, no matter how humbling it may be. Because like it or not I’m not the same woman I used to be!
Now, today is different because I’m using dictation software in order to complete this post.
I guess you can say it’s a milestone of sorts. In fact over the course of the last few years every time I had to start using a new device I considered it a very big deal. Whether it’s my cane, walker, wheelchair, scooter or power chair, I had to accept my new reality. Or as we say every year it seems to be something, and here once again is one of my new normals. To be honest though, I saw this one coming. More often when I’m tired, I’m require help to do normal, easy, simple tasks; for example buttoning my shirts or putting on my own deodorant or sometimes even feeding myself! Thank God for my husband and my mom.
Fortunately, with this computer program I simply speak into the microphone on the computer and it in turn types what I say. I really, really didn’t want to use it or anything else. It was hard to accept any kind of help at first. But, I figured in order to keep with what I preach… I had to. Writing has become my outlet from MS. I’ll be damned if I let multiple sclerosis shrewdly yank that away from me too.
At first for me, like many others, multiple sclerosis meant only blurry vision. But look at me now. I imagine I’m going to accept my new typing limitation and move on to embrace this dictation software on my computer. I may even be drawn to purchase brand name fancy software. Who knows?
I’m even having problems using my computer mouse. My hands just will not listen to me. I did however read about a device that moves your mouse with your eye movement.
Maybe in a few months I’ll be ready to tackle that one.
Nicole I can relate to you on so many levels. I’ve had MS for almost 20 years, I am African-American and I’m from the South:)
For a long while I did not read blogs because I couldn’t help but think that everything that I saw was going to happen to me. Now I WRITE a blog, and I’m not so scared. Reading your blog has actually made me feel a little better about the changes yet to come (or not to come)
Your level of activity is inspiring.
Thank you,
Estizer
http://www.msopenmic.wordpress.com
Nicole,
I thank you for your positive attitude! You’re one step a head of me on our MS journey~ well, step might not be the best choice of words… My typing is also becoming a problem…
~Linda
Linda
Cute.
This is a rather timely post for me. Last weekend I totally maxed out the physical stress on my body when I helped out my wives business. I was totally unable to walk for the first time in my 28 years of living with PPMS. It has always been the elephant in the closet, but to experience that jello like feeling in the legs was really bad. Fortunately they started working again after a couple of days rest. I know that I really pushed myself much to hard and knew I was going to feel really bad for a few days. I do feel pretty bad, pain level is way up, my arms and legs are really weakened. I know that with my slowly progressing MS it is going to get worse, but this isn’t a slope, it’s a step change. I don’t like this ‘new normal”. I will deal with it, adapt and learn to do some things differently. It just sucks to have to….
Bryan, It’s hard and unfair, please don’t let it win though.
I’m starting to consider the dictation-type myself. My hands still cooperate most of the time, but the ridiculous pain afterwards stays with me. I’m also having to convince my mother that using assistive devices isn’t the kiss of death. It just helps you get on with your life and do what needs to be done. I get her reluctance. I just wish I hadn’t been so stubborn when it was my turn.
Jenn, I get her reluctance too!
Angela, It wasn’t easy, but I sure am glad that I did it!
Good afternoon Nicole!!! I feel your pain. I took have this MonSter. I am fighting to keep moving by myself. Co-workers call me Cassius Clay relating to Muhammad Ali. “The fighter”. I don’t want to use my electronie scooter, or my Cadillac Walker, I try to keep moving. Sometimes my vision is very blurry, and its that time of day where I am beat. TIRED!!! Lets hang in there with me Sunshine!!! This desease sucks…
Alexis, you’re right about that !
Nicole, sorry to hear, but glad we have things to help. I got Dragon Naturally Speaking free for opening up an amazon.com credit card (don’t use the card). Those programs can be fun. One day I was searching on google for a “dermatologist” and it typed “demonologist”(don’t need one of those). Sometimes MS feels like The Exorcist though. I can feel my head spinning around just thinking of all the symptom possibilities and devices. Whoa.
MJ, just as long as you aren’t protect out vomiting. I think things are going to be okay!
No green pea projectile. I was worried you might be too young to relate to the reference. LOL
Nicole, I am sorry your new reality requires software but I am so glad it is available to you. I would feel a loss if I didn’t read your blog on Tuesdays. We do what we have to do to lead the best life possible.
I have had to give in to MS symptoms this last week I have never experienced before. I wonder if this is my new normal. The only constant in life is change and we need to adapt. Not easy, not fun and worrisome. We can do this Nicole, we have no choice.
Lisa, I think you are my biggest cheerleader thanks!
I would miss the posts too! Very thankful for the many devices available to us, even though my goal is to get rid of mine. Oh well. It is a constant change through this life (even before MS). I guess I am still working on acceptance and being okay with who I am today. It sure doesn’t seem to bother anyone else. They’ve all accepted it. It’s my turn now!
Laurie, I understand completely!
I know how sucky this disease is.
It is a robber, a thief, could care less about, plans, hopes and dreams.
Hang in there, my fellow MS Warrior.
No, I haven’t had to deal with this one, but I am now dealing with things with my MS, I never thought I would have to. I may have to deal with this in the future.
You are an inspiration to us all, Nicole.
Faye, thanks, Like all of us are I’m just doing things I need to do to make it through the day,
As I sit here and type this with my index finger, I am in the same situation. Not wanting to bow down to this dreaded disease, I am trying to maintain the abilities that I do have. The reality is, I need this software myself. Coming to grips with this has been my biggest hurdle. It’s one I have to jump, or since I can’t jump, I have to cross this barrier. The difficulty remains grand.
Kshanski, I whole heartedly understand. It’s amazing though the freed him this software has the stowed upon me.
I know that time is approaching for me as well. My right hand can do nothing but act as a paperweight, and now my left one is becoming weaker. I use only one or two fingers, but they get tired. I guess I’ll have to look into the dictation programs available.
Peace,
Muff
Muff, hang in there! my dear friend.
Nicole, I am so sorry for all the things I’m able to to do and don’t even think about! Your blog really keeps me grounded!!! There’s so many able bodied people walking around everyday without ever giving a person like you a thought
and only thinking about themselves or their situation. I NEVER,EVER thought about people with MS having to use special equipment to ‘dictate’ messages to their computer! Needless to say my knowledge of MS is extremely limited and I’m so glad I remembered you giving me your business card with this blog address. As long as there’s breath in my body, I’ll be a loyal follower!
Renecia, Where was that? In Baton Rouge? Thanks for following!
Nicole… I suppose this is what I have heard of as loss… and ms keeps on taking and therefore more loss… just as we get used to a new loss something else goes.. I do not know how I will take to all this loss.. but I am thankful to the technology that just seems to advance constantly and to people like you who share what you are going through and that may affect others at some point.. you continue to exude grace as you deal with “loss” .. and the many challenges that lie ahead.
Ella
Hi Nicole,
I’m glad to hear that you have a device that is working with you. I’ve tried Dragon and find that i don’t have the patience to train something that is supposed to be helping me. I’m fortunate to have learned touch typing in high school, so don’t need to see the keyboard … just the screen, and I can make that larger as needed.
If you’re using Dragon, how did you get it to behave? My voice changes like an adolescent boy’s, and I have about given up on Dragon after three different “new and improved” versions.
All I can say is, Bless the Delete key!
Terry, I’m sorry the software didn’t work for you. I imagine you must write a lot.
Hi Nicole
I am so glad you found a way to continue to express. I can be stubborn at times and don’t use all of my assistance devices like I should. I eventually found that I waste time struggling to do what I know I can’t do when I have devices around me to use. My son showed me voice recognition in my phone. So I can now text much more easily. I need dictation software for my computer because it’s really hard using my hands to do anything.
I look forward to all of your posts. Thank you!
Take good care!
Arletha, Who knows maybe next time you will be using your dictation software to comment on this blog. I’m rooting for you!
Nicole
Well done to u.
I have tried dragon dictation on my iPad, and it does not type what I speak at all. I am
British maybe it’s the ascent thing?
Once again way to go mastering all this new technology, being so loyal to we MSrs.
Thanx