“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~ Arthur Ashe
Lately, I have been extremely tired. On Tuesdays I attend an MS aquatics class but this particular day, fatigue had me in a bad way. So instead, I opted to go to the gym and use the NuStep. I love this machine because it’s a sit-down, step exercise apparatus that works both my arms and legs.
The goal for the day was 10 minutes. Just 10 lousy minutes! That’s what I usually do on good days. What made me think I could do that today even though I was too tired to go to the pool? I don’t know? Maybe it was denial, wishful thinking or both?
I entered the gym and without hesitation went straight to the NuStep. Within the first two minutes I quickly changed the tension level from 2 to 1, which is the easiest intensity.
Then five minutes in, I saw Tommy, my husband, get up and stand closer to me. I thought to myself, “I must be swaying”. So I began concentrating on keeping my balance.
At seven minutes, I could feel myself winded, sweating, and my heart rate was through the roof. And I’m still on the easiest level! Then, I made a very smart move. I pressed stop. I thought a break was called for.
Tommy asked if I was finished. “Nope”, I replied.
He gave me a sip of water; I caught my breath and started again.
“Only three minutes to go”, I said to myself. I needed to believe, “I can do this!”
I was really getting into it, when suddenly both my feet slipped off the machine. I lost my balance and my feet, legs and butt fell onto the floor. With the bottom half of my body on the ground and the upper half still on the machine my workout officially ended at eight minutes.
I just want to get better and in my delusion, this is one of the exercises that’s key to making that happen. I know you know multiple sclerosis doesn’t work like that. I know this too. But I still keep searching for an answer.
In the car, on the way home, I lowered my head in defeat once again. I muttered to my husband, “I couldn’t make 10 minutes.”
He smiled and said, “It’s only a number.”
Then we stopped for ice cream and snowballs! Ice cream always makes everything better.
Nicole,
I just found your blog yesterday. I too have SPMS, which is limiting me. I can so relate to your workout experience! I set number goals for myself at the gym, and can’t seem to finish my 12 minutes. We just have to keep trying…you’re inspiring me to hang in there. Thank you!!!
Great blog x I find that heat = flop too
Gorgeous photo 🙂
Pam,
boosting each other is what it’s all about. I’m glad you liked the blog.
Keep Goin girlfriend
You did 8 minutes! You pushed yourself until you fell off the machine! (That actually takes more guts than I have.)
When it comes to exercise, work, cleaning or really anything, I struggle to find the line between “doing as much as I can” and “doing too much”.
And because I’m so focused on figuring out “how much I SHOULD be doing”, I beat myself up either way. But then I take a break until I’m not anxious, and I just do “some”. I’m lucky that my husband appreciates when I do “any”, because it means I haven’t given up.
I am grateful for what you share, I’m glad you have a supportive partner, and I am thankful that you haven’t given up.
I’m so glad that we talked because it helps me to picture your situation better. I’ve had more recovery than you but the last few days have been bad days–fatigue, pain, all the lower body disfunction. It has gotten hotter in Missouri–it only takes close to 90 to do me in and we are there and it is easy to succumb to the depression that goes with not functioning. Every morning is a battle to decide to try again. But it is worth it and not all times are like this. I can’t imagine your weather is any better than mine! So hunker down and know it won’t always be like this!
Nicole, I don’t think of this as defeat. I am very sensitive to heat…from temp outside… to internal body temp. I found out early on that I could not do aerobic exercising as it raised my internal temp and I either passed out or became totally dysfunctional. It is not a question of being out of shape, it is being too warm. I have passed out on our elliptical trainer…when I went over 2 minutes. I can do resistance training without a problem. By the way, you do look great.
Nicole,
I love this quote as it keeps us in the moment. As my ms friend told me not to look back but try to deal with it daily . Strategize is the word I think of to deal with the obstacles. You look good on the machine and that snow cone must have been yummy. Keep up the faith !
Nicole,I am a long time reader,first time commenting or not very often on your blogs. I find inspiration in your writing and I am rooting for you!! Here’s to hoping you keep getting up after a fall we all get them. DX 3 yrs. Almost now and you almost always touch on something I am dealing with. I thank you for the committment to sharing throughout your journey and it’s encouraging each time we get to hear from you!!
You are an inspiration! You did 8 minutes on a bad day. I hate to admit but exercise is the first thing to go for me, even on good days. I have to remember this post and keep at it. I’m sorry that you fell, but your determination is the major point of this story. Thank you..
I love the nustep. I use it a couple times a week, but I am not consistent in time or resistance. I do what I can and then stop. Part of getting stronger is also listening to your body. Glad you have a supportive husband. I would be lost without mine! Keep on moving when you can!
Margaret, Thanks for reading.
You went to the gym– Win! You worked out on a machine– Win! You tried your best– Win! You have a healthy marriage– Win! You had delicious ice cream– Win! And you write an awesome blog. Win Win and Thank you!
I love, love, reading your posts!! A lot of times you write exactly what I’m feeling and going thru. Thanks!!! You inspire me♡
Hi Nicole. You are not at all defeated because you didn’t make it to 10 minutes. You made a victory when you got up and made it to the gym. That in itself is a victory. You keep your head up and Take good care!
Aside from your amazing tenacity and focus, the other thing evident in this story is: what a wonderful husband!
Nicole, you continue to be my inspiration. As well as Tommy. The honest looks at what you endure as well as achieve always move me. Perhaps I need to cut off my ice cream habit unless I do my own exercises first?