It seems no matter what I do MS just keeps pounding away at the structure of my life.
I have already shared with you how much I love horseback riding. I actually had a class today, but I canceled it! I knew I was too tired to last an entire session of 45 minutes. I asked my husband to take me to a local gym instead where I rode a bike for 20 minutes.
I guess you can say I chose plan B instead.
That seems to be my new normal, Plan B. As a matter of fact, out of sheer anger I boldly announced to my husband that I was not going back to horseback riding anymore! In other words I had a bona fide two-year-old temper tantrum. He of course urged me to just cut down on how often I go, which seems logical.
I do go weekly. But, I’m not feeling very logical right now. What’s logical about multiple sclerosis? Nothing! Most of the time I don’t last the entire session anyway.
But I guess on the other hand (the better hand) I can be responsible for the way I react to what I am forced to go through. I didn’t have to slam down the phone on with my trainer! I’m embarrassed and regretful now. Multiple sclerosis sucks, but my attitude may be the last thing I do have control over.
I hope they allow me to get back on the horse!!!
I have a saying I printed out and put on my kitchen window:
YOU have control of YOUR attitude.
I think we all need reminded of that. We may not have control of much of anything any more but we DO have control of our attitude. Let us strive to be a blessing to others, peaceful, loving, and so on. Makes life better for us, our health and for those around us.
I have hissy fits when I’m frustrated too. Later, I laugh about it thinking how silly I looked doing it.
amy99, Sounds like I’m in good company!
Nicole great post, and I really like your new blog layout! Is it a new theme?
Estizer, To be honest, I write the posts and answer the comments. My husband takes care of the rest! I loved that post you had about meditation.
From the picture it looks as though the horse already misses you.
You know what they say, when you fall off the horse, you have to climb right back on.
Put on your spurs & giddey-up cowpoke!
Sock, you are my personal cheering section!
Nicole, I have tantrums when my significant other wants to go out for breakfast and it’s so hot here (AZ) that I just want to cry. So tantrum away!
For now I sit in my air conditioning (we have 3) and plan for a long drive on Wed. to Tucson, where it’s even hotter!
Happy summertime. Love your blog.
Roberta, it’s good to know I’m not the only one having them. thanks for reading my blog!
I hope we all have control over out attitudes. We have a choice everyday about how we will react to our situations. Our attitude is a choice and it is a powerful one. It can make or break you. It is more important than circumstance. I believe this to be true. It isn’t easy but my attitude got me through cancer.
Lisa, wow, it is our attitude that pulls us through!
I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances- Martha Washington –
***** i try to live by that with this rat bastard disease – and on the days when I cannot use that one i use this –
*** A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort 🙂
Another great post that is right on time – and get back on that horse honey 5 minutes if you have to – you will be happy about it later – besided who woulda thunk MSER’s on horses – whooo hooo
Tanya-Marie,Yes, as I mentioned before I try to stay unreasonably happy despite my circumstances. I probably will not be back riding in the hot sun though!
Hi i have had MS for about 15years or so and doctors scared me with all the facts and things that i could not do! I live in SA but am presently working in Liberia as a Diesel Mechanic expat for CAT. Never give up! Always stand up! Tommorow will be a better day! Stay strong of will and you can overcome anything in your way! Good luck with the horse riding.
I like your last line. It’s what I’ve told several people who have asked how I’ve been able to keep a positive attitude. I can’t control what happens to me, but I can control how I react to and how I choose to handle things.
Mary Alice, it seems as if with multiple sclerosis the name of the game is learning to let go, but we have to find other ways to be who we are.
Hi Nicole.
First of all, they’ll let you back on the horse. Just go back with that wonderful smile of yours. They will be happy to have you back.
Second, I love that pic. It looks like you and the horse are having a friendly conversation.
Third, I understand how you feel. My children look at me like I’m crazy when I throw a fit because fatigue won’t allow me to follow through on my word when I tell someone “yes” when I should have said “no”. I complain and fuss then regret it later. They say “why don’t you just tell them you can’t do it. and go rest”. Sounds simple. I remind myself that I may not be able to control what happens in my life but I can control how I handle it. I’m learning.
Arletha, that’s funny we were having our own little moment there. Yes it is getting very hot. I’ll probably have to go to the gym more often now. And then there is the fatigue…
I know about those hissy fits! Mine come from pure frustration. I tell my husband that I’m not mad at him or anyone else. It’s just anger at my situation.
Peace,
Muff
Muff, That’s it.
Wow, give yourself credit! 1st of all, I am sure it is expensive to horseback ride, but do it for 20 minutes., could you? Then you said you went to the gym and rode a bike for 20 min. Wow Wow Wow,
Kathy, it was a modified bike called the Nustep. I wish I could get on a regular bike! But I didn’t miss your point.
Good point about attitude being the only control left. That’s a big one to remember. I said no to a tai chi class today and feel guilty and lazy.
Mimi, I guess that’s what I’m going through too.
Of course they will! This was a very human moment — dealing with the biggest issue — successfully managing your reaction to the things that happen (Plan A, B…Z — whatever!)
Good luck Nicole!
Linda, They probably will, it looks like its going to be the increasing heat that keeps me out now
Hi Nicole,
I understand….especially when the Temp outside is warm and humid (just guessing), may not be the day to be around a hot, large, animal, outdoors. I think it’s absolutely terrific you came up with plan B….which involved some exercise. Way to go! Your body knew what it wanted and needed! I have an opportunity to do some “easy” kayaking on a beautiful river soon….I hope I carefully listen to my inner wisdom and don’t plunge into something (pun intended) that is too hot, too much, for me…….
Toni,I have a feeling I have a feeling you will choose the best thing for you. But kayaking sounds unbelievable!
I did it! The wilderness kayaking for 3 hours meant so much to me….my hubby was right there for me and we did well…more exertion than usual, but, it had no lasting negative effects! As a matter of fact, I think we’ll move here!!!
Toni, That’s huge news!! I’m so happy for you. Let me know when you make the move.
We bought a house….in Bend….cool and healthy environs…..thanks, Nicolle
Toni, Sounds good to me!
Girl……I can so relate to this post!!! You nailed it with the whole “Plan B” concept. My MS obstacle is fatigue. I am getting to the point where it effects just about every aspect of my life. It is hard to let go of who I want to be.
Mary Alice, yes fatigue can beat the best of us!
I hear you Nicole. Thank you for sharing.
‘It seems no matter what I do MS just keeps pounding away at the structure of my life’.
This is exactly how I am feeling today!
Here is a song that I use to lift my spirits and attitude by the great Mavis Staples. “You’re not alone” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5RTxtzAbLk
Amy, no thank you for reading. I will definitely check out the song. I’m always looking for things to lift my spirits.
Nicole, I believe that we have control over more than that, but our attitude is a really great place to start. I know it has been mentioned to you many times before (and I read your blog ‘Fooled Again’ where you abandoned the nutritional approach after less than two weeks) but there really is an astonishing amount of evidence behind the theory that MS can be controlled, overcome, call it what you will, using diet and lifestyle modification. George Jelinek, Terry Wahls- top doctors who are using scientific research to show a way that we can limit the impact MS has on our lives. I have chosen to adopt the Jelinek lifestyle – as explained in Overcoming Multiple Sclerosis, the website and the book. A wholefood, plant-based diet, high vitamin D, exercise and meditation. It can take 3-5 years to stabilise, and longer to see improvement, though some people notice positive changes within the first six months.
Karen, I really do appreciate the insight. I wish I could look to food as well.
Get back on the horse. I am sure the trainer will understand your frustration and emotional reaction. No need to apologize. Just explain that you are frustrated.
The horse doesn’t know you have multiple sclerosis! You are just fun to have on its back so it can enjoy its life!
Looking at it that way, you and the horse are just helping each other out.
Allan, I like that view!