“Most days it feels as if the world is whirling around me and I am standing still. In slow motion, I watch the colors blur; people and faces all become a massive wash.” ~ Sarah Kay
I’m not sure what’s going on but lately I have been feeling wobbly and fatigued. I seem to be slowing down and routine task are getting harder to accomplish. Everyday I’m using more and more energy just to get out of bed.
It’s frustrating because no matter how hard I try, I keep coming up short. It’s like I’m loosing control of my life.
The problem is, when I’m tired, I’m so very tired.
This issue is also starting to affect the way my mind works. I am having difficulty putting my thoughts into words. Because of this, I have decided it is time to adapt.
When MS made it harder for me to brush my teeth, I started using an electric toothbrush. When walking became more difficult for me, I began using a cane. So now I have to adapt to not being able to always express myself very quickly. I need more time to piece my ideas and thoughts together.
For 5 years, I have been posting blogs once a week on My New Normals and other websites. Because of my growing cognitive difficulties, I have decided to post bi-weekly or every two weeks. I hope everyone understands and stays active on our websites and various social media outlets.
I love writing and the reason I share my personal experiences with the world is to help demystify the disease of multiple sclerosis. It also makes me feel…well…relevant. I still believe I have a story to tell, so I will keep writing. Just at a slower pace.
I often wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is run down the list of things I have planned for the day just like I did when I was working and raising my family. Take care of the dog, breakfast, get ready and go to the pool, lunch, run a few errands, come home to work on art or gardening, and make a nice dinner. Then I get up. I take care of the dog, eat breakfast while waiting for my eyes to begin focusing, get ready and go to the pool, have lunch at a little place close to the pool so I can rest, and get myself home to rest most of the afternoon. I am often frustrated that I’m not more productive, but with MS my primary job is taking care of myself. I must remind myself if I can do one thing per day, it is a successful day!
hi there, iam new to all this. I was diagnose with ms about a year ago. I was wondering what medicine you take.
Hello Nicole! This is Renecia, I commend you for acknowledging your “new normals” and wanted to ask if you’ve REad Montel Williams book “Living Wel…21 days to transform your life, supercharge your health, and feel spectacularl” that I purchased “used” on Amazon for under $10 w/shipping. I’ve begun REading it and it’s REally inspirational!!! I can’t wait to try since I too have suffered a neurological disorder. Love you Nicole and am praying that God allows you to REturn “not” to the old Nicole, but a new and improved version of you!!!
Me too. Me too.
Hang in there girl. Keep fighting. My thoughts are with you!
Hi Nicole, I was worried too when you didn’t post, and I’m glad you are taking your time and again doing what’s best for you. I’ve been following your posts for three years now, and it’s been an inspiration and a lesson to me to see how you face change and cope with the many difficulties MS throws at you. I have a friend with MS, so I originally came to this blog looking to understand her better, but I’ve stayed because I learn patience and courage from you. Thanks for being there.
I was dianoised with ms a year ago and was wondering what medicines that you took.
Please do what works best for you. I’ll be waiting to read your post whenever it arrives.
If there is anybody who really understands about adapting is us. I always look forward to reading all that you have to share. Take your time while you do what you love.
Appreciate your honesty and inspiration !
Thankyou
Hi Nicole. I couldn’t have said it better than all those that posted before me. You are amazing and I hope I can be as strong as you one day. I look so forward to your posts, they make my day brighter!
Mel my heart just smiled
Hi Nicole, so glad you’re back. I was concerned when I didn’t see a post. You have to do what is best for you and your health. Thank you for putting your time and energy into a blog. I have learned a lot about MS and know that I am not alone in this. Take care ! Looking forward to your next post.
Nichole, I believe whatever you do is enough, just as for the rest of us MSers. The MonSter always changes and you do what you can THAT day and that’s enough. Pushing beyond that will only be detrimental, all the way around, even to us. Please take good care of yourself then, you will be able to share more of you. (y)
Hi Nicolle,
Keeping it real is why I started reading your work weekly and why I’ll continue to so whenever you write! Keep on keeping on!
Your Friend,
Tim
#MSRunnerDude
Tim i’ll see you soon!
So happy to hear you are still posting. Missed you last week!! You are an inspiration
Nicole, I’m so grateful you will still be writing. I just have to remember every 2 weeks now. I know I am the type of person to worry about you when you miss a week. Thanks for the explanation! It sure would have been rough if I was worried about you every other week! I am glad that you’ve decided to put yourself and your needs first. We can all learn from that.
That sounds like a great solution. You are inspiring!
HI Nicole, I’m glad that you are putting yourself first! I enjoy your blog and have been a lurker for a few months. I received my diagnosis in December although I do believe that my symptoms have been present for at least 7 years…
I am here in New Orleans and I will keep you in my prayers.
You put so eloquently what MS is like. I used to work in a large company. The pace was frantic. But now its time to slow the pace.
I’m grateful for your blog however, whenever you do it. Besides the obvious benefits, writing takes real, measurable energy. Every 2 weeks is impressive!
Thank you and keep on keepin’ on.
Best
Revel Smith
I am so glad that you are taking care of yourself and pacing yourself. I enjoy reading your blogs so I am trilled that you are going to continue to write but that you are taking time for you too. I only wish you all the best for the future.
I am so sorry you are feeling that awful fatigue. I was recommended Oil of Oregano and it has definitely improved my cotton-wool thinking and my physical endurance. As MS has robbed me of most normal pursuits, at least I can still enjoy my online life. I am sad that yours is being compromised. I will enjoy your posts whenever you make them.
Nicole, you have made an excellent decision to post every two weeks! The extra time will offer more opportunities for reflection and remove some pressure. Your comments are always insightful and welcome and help to encourage and inspire. Even after 40+ years of coping with MS, I still look for new approaches to the constantly changing challenges.