“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.” ~ William James
For years I have been randomly saying prayers. The process brings me clarity and seems to slow everything down when life gives me more than I can handle. But lately, I pretty much have given up on performing the ritual of kneeling while praying. It just takes up too much of my energy and nine times out of ten I need assistance to kneel down and get back up. The same goes with praying while standing. I can stand, with help, for about 30 seconds without swaying but that’s about it. Then after all that standing I require ten minutes of rest. I needed another option.
My alternative to kneeling and standing is to sit quietly and bow my head. I can do it in my wheelchair or on the ground in the park.
Also, instead of designated times, I say prayers whenever I have a free moment. It can be at anytime, like when waiting in a line or riding in the car. I just close my eyes and say a little prayer.
Unfortunately, in recent years, most of my prayers have been purely selfish. I ask for the same thing every time. I just want to be “normal”.
After praying that same prayer nearly everyday, I began to think my efforts were in vain. Now I believe I was missing the lesson.
Every time I wake up and feel great for five minutes, that’s my blessing. When I am able to make it to the bathroom without help, that’s the blessing.
The small victories are my blessings. A “normal” person doesn’t see a blessing in being able to walk alone to get the mail or putting on clothes without help. I now see how special life is and recognize the miracles we perform and take for granted everyday.
I just want to say thank you for the blessings and allowing me to notice them.
Nicole, I totally agree because before I had my Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM)
I rarely gave thanks for those little things I’d been taking for granted as a normal person. I took ALOT of things for granted! Now I am so grateful to still be here, in my right mind and able to move about without assistance. Every day before I get out of bed, I open my eyes and thank Him for blessing me to see another day, even before I try to get out of the bed. Cause alot of people who have AVM’s never make it out of the hospital. Girl keep on praying and being thankful for those lil things, cause like earlier posters pointed out it’s not “how” you pray, but “whether” you pray. I’ve come to REalize that I am soooo blessed!!!
Thank you for your honesty; I feel the same way and I needed to hear that. I also like the quotation.
Nicole;—Thanks for sharing…. You must be Catholic? I know how hard it was for me to just lean back against the seat while everyone else was kneeling straight up. God understands, even though some of our members might not. l.o.l.—-
Hi Nicole,
Well I guess that I’m just not a normal person either then and that’s ok with me! I’m not sure I remember what normal is, and being one of the “unusual MSers” I’m still not “normal”! 3 years ago I was having to start using a wheel chair to shop for groceries and 2 weeks ago I completed my first full Marathon! So I’ve decided that being normal is overrated and to go with what is. Recognizing Grace and being grateful makes for some happy days so keep it real and enjoy living today.
Your Friend,
Tim
Thank you thank you thank you, your posts are always one I read 1st Tuesday morning! BTW I pray whenever I need need to.
Nicole, it’s so nice to hear you “accepting” your new normal. We all have so many blessings & so much to be thankful for. Whenever I begin to feel a bit blue, I think about those in the world that have many more challenges than I do. It puts my life in a different perspective & I realize how truly blessed I am!
Thank you, Nicole! I have said so many times that MS has taught me to be thankful for EVERYTHING!! I used to take so much of life for granted, now I am thankful for each new day and every step I take, even if I can’t do as much as I would like. Every day is a blessing!! YOU are a blessing to those of us struggling to make sense of our situations!! Much love and hugs☺️
Thanks again for sharing another powerful realization. What does “normal” mean anyway? The lessons that you are learning along your pathway are truly powerful and meaningful, and through them you are having a tremendous impact every day. Difficult? Absolutely. Challenging? No question. Normal? Well, that’s up to you to determine if it is normal for YOU! Whatever you decide, please remember it is not about HOW we pray, but more about WHETHER we pray. Nicole, you are truly a great example of living and valuing every day. Please enjoy this wonderful holiday season – whether or not you are in a wheelchair!
Thank you again for your candor. 🙂
Nicole,
I went outside and viewed the birds at my feeder and thanked the Lord for the birds and this day. It was a blessed time of meditation and silence that we all need with this disease. I have a leather bracelet that states”I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13. It does strengthen me and I would love to send you one as a token of my appreciation for your blog as it has given me hope.
Hi Nicole, There is no “right” way to pray. I pray like you do, whenever and wherever. I, too, just wish to be normal,and I realize that will probably never happen. So I just appreciate the small normal moments when they occur. Take care during this Christmas season, and I wish for many blessings for you.
Sue
You are an extraordinarily resilient person. Thanks for blessing us with your presence.
I love this post! I am thankful for the mornings I sit up and get myself out of bed. That I can walk to the bathroom and get myself ready. There was a time when I couldn’t do these things. There was also a time when I took them for granted. I still pray for “normalcy” every day, but now I see the things I can do as a blessing. I’m glad you see the blessing in them too!
Yip this blessing allows the development of attitude of gratitude
Thanx for reminder Nicole
Amen