As a nurse and an avid reader I am well aware of the downhill trajectory of multiple sclerosis. But it’s an entirely different ballgame when it happens to you.
This particular Saturday had been dubbed as a day for my best friend, her 2 -year-old daughter and me in my new pimped out wheelchair. Well, my friend came to get me around 3ish. She made sure I would be able to propel myself. She literally asked me.(Mistake #1)
I assured her it would be fine. Mistake #2 (I had my fingers crossed.)
First of all any day out with old friends is a big break from my everyday reality of physical therapy and doctor visits. I really wanted to see both of them, but leaving that late in the afternoon in this Louisiana heat would physically wear me out. I knew this. But I carefully neglected to tell my friend for fear of the date being cancelled. I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to shop at the Tanger Outlets with my goddaughter.
So what happened? Picture this. By 6pm my friend was trying to manage me in my chair and the baby in her stroller at the same time! My left arm just checked out. It was if I don’t lift 10lb dumbbells daily.
The wheelchair would roll left. The stroller would go right. We tried letting the baby walk and push her stroller with my help. But that was almost laughable as well. People were just walking by as if this scene was normal. We felt like this was something out of that ABC TV show “What Would You Do?”. I’m not quite sure what I expected them to offer, but we just needed help. It was pure comedy to see us struggling with the shopping bags, the stroller, and the wheelchair as on-lookers walked casually by us.
I knew this could happen. I just looked away and hoped for the best. Really kind of selfish if you think about it. (Mistake #3)
We were past desperate. My friend asked a complete stranger for help with pushing me into a nearby store. I was mortified, the stranger was mortified, but in the end, we needed help and he provided it.
We were troopers!! We both have a great sense of humor and we have been through so much over our 20+ years of friendship that in the end we could laugh about it and make plans to be better equipped for our next outing.
I’m glad I’m right handed!
After a good night’s rest I’m confident it’ll get better.
Next time I’ll start the day earlier, I’ll be honest about my capabilities, and I’ll consider everyone involved.
But if that doesn’t work I’ll give ABC a call.
I can’t imagine not stepping in to help but then again when others HAVE stepped in to help, I’ve seen them get snapped at. (I lipread…so I know!)
I help when I can and no one has been rude to me. Now if a tv camera appears well… I better have makeup on, that’s all I have to say. =)
I like Karen’s idea! Baby in lap! How about baby in lap with some kind of harness on you?
Sherry, You have a good point there. The lap idea seems very doable:)
Nicole
Good that you all had a great day and got in some good laughing 🙂
Sometimes I forget or over estimate my abilities but I try not to look at it from the negative standpoint (not always successful) . So you over estimated – so what? You both enjoyed the day.
“mistake” not so inclined to agree
Jan,
Thanks 🙂
Nicole
Nicole,
Loved your account of your day!
I have found that strangers are quick to respond when I may need a hand–AND when I don’t. Being a bull-headed male, it is hard to accept help and that I may need assistance. But it is often there…with a smile too!
I must admit I find people are more willing to help than not.
Nicole, I enjoy reading your posts! I love how your sense of humor has not been lost on this journey. I think that sometimes we may hesitate to offer help to strangers because we never know how they will react; instead, we wait for people to ask for our help. Yet, sometimes they don’t for the same reason. This reminds me to be less hesitant to offer and receive help. Take care and God bless, soror!
Ebony, That’s a great take away!
Nicole
I have the feeling that just about everyone who has MS can relate to your story. Having MS makes you expect change and go with it. Despite your challenging day, it sounds as though you and your friend weathered the storm very well!
Ann, Thanks we certainly did!
Nicole
it’s good that u can laugh at it at the end of the day…i think that sometimes, we just want to say, “forget u MS” while knowing in the back of our minds, that maybe it’s not the best thing – and i don’t think that there is always anything wrong with that (as long as we are willing to deal with the end result- of course).
Stacey, you are certainly right. That’s exactly what I did.
Nicole
I have to go out early in the day, and only if it’s not a hot day. That means I have been inside for almost two months, give or take a day or two!
I find that most people are not willing to help out if they see someone in trouble. Maybe they thought it WAS the ABC TV show “What Would You Do?”, and didn’t want to be on camera…ha ha. I often wonder, “How did people get to be so unkind?”
It might have worked out better for you guys if you had of put the baby on your lap, folded up the stroller and loaded some of the shopping bags in the car. I hope you have better luck next time!
Cheers
Karen, great idea! I didn’t think of that one. I find that people often don’t know what to say or do. I did come across some really sweet children who were nearly fighting to help me out in the restroom!
Nicole