This week I am completely energized to keep moving forward.
Last week after a personal ferocious crying storm, brought on by this journey with multiple sclerosis, I eventually made my way to my laptop and …wrote about it. It was my way of trying to move beyond the hurt, getting pass the suffocating isolation and unimaginable fatigue.
Tommy, my husband, on the other hand, uncharacteristically suggested an increase in my anti-depressant. After visiting both my psychiatrist and social worker they agreed upon adding another medication to the impressive list I already drag around. So I’m now supposedly transiently taking not only Lexapro but also Cymbalta. I know I have to give it a few days, but so far things are going fine. No scary side effects and no crying either!
It doesn’t stop there. I have to do my part too. I have to engage in life by participating in as much as I can. Exactly the kind of things you run from when depressed. When I was busy crying I was focused on the things I could no longer do. I just wanted to hide in bed and shut every one out. This is what I got instead.
Long time friends from both high school and college dropped by. We talked about old times and new ones too. Another friend even gave Tommy a break by bringing me to a doctor’s appointment. She was new to my scooter, but graciously learned how to assemble and break it down to fit in her car. She stayed the afternoon; we ran errands and ate dinner at a local restaurant. Tommy even called me thirty minutes into our excursion to make sure I was okay. How cute! In fact for once I was able to bring dinner home for him.
The point is I opened the door and allowed friends to see me for who I am now, regardless of what I could do the last time they saw me.
Little did I know my latest friend is an actual photographer. She showed up and we had a real photo shoot for Halloween. She even brought over the lights and costume too!
Wow!! What a gorgeus picture!! And a talented writer to boot!!! You are so blessed to have an understading husband and supportive friends. I had a meltdown pity-party for myself this weekend. I guess we just need that soetimes. Family andd friends are so imoprtant, butt I don’t know what I’d do without drugs!!
Micelle, Me either.
Hi Nicole,
Once again, you inspire me.
I have found that when I ask for help, companionship, etc. from others I feel better about not letting all of it fall upon my husband.
it took me so many years to ask and let it be okay .
The Lexapro I started 6 months ago also serves as a ” life” buffer and helps to make terrible situations bearable.
what a huge learning curve for all of us.
You look beautiful and powerful in your super costume.
keep smiling…….
I am so glad that old friends of yours visited and wanted to help you along with your day.
I ask my friends to get on the train and come up for lunch occasionally and they do!!
We just need to ask more………
Liz, I never thought about it like that…asking more. Good call.
Perfect costume choice for you! You really are a Wonder Woman! I admire your attitude this week, and I even cried with you last week! My struggles are different from yours, but I have learned so much from you. Thanks for sharing your amazing life with us!
Kim, I would have never thought….
Sorry, I just noticed it wasn’t a SUPER woman costume, but even more you are an inspiration to all– a real WONDER woman!!!
LOL
You are definitely a SUPER, Woman Nicole! Keep on keeping on!!! I love reading your blog posts Nicole. They are both enlightening and entertaining. Thanks so much for giving us a glimpse into YOUR life!!
Renecia, Thank you.
Awesome! Love the pic! Sometimes it’s hard to even let friends know you are in that “dark” place (that’s what I call it) and to except help in crawling out of it. Be thankful for those friends and cling to them. I am learning to do this also. I was always the friend who did that for others. It was hard to learn I needed them in that way too and to let them help me, but I am getting there, and you are too. 🙂 Yay for us!
Susan, Yes I will cherish them!
Nicole,
Great job Wonder Woman! And you look great in the photo too.
I’ve been on Cymbalta for 4 years now. It’s now the only anti-depressant I take. And it has really helped me so far.
I think we all have those horrible days on occasion. But like you’ve leaned, I can’t dwell on it. The next day I HAVE to pull myself out and DO something. I’ve even called a friend, admitted that I had a rotten day, and invited that friend to make me laugh. It soon gets me back to being able to laugh at the absurdity of my MS.
Mary Ellen, they do say laughter is the best medicine.
Oh Nicole, this is so powerful! Thank you so much for speaking your truth which gives me courage to face and speak mine. We are now different kinds of Wonder Women, and that’s okay!
Rachael, Thanks.
Hey Nicole,
It was awesome to read your first sentence, the tide seems to have turned for you and I’m grateful for you! The photo is awesome too, in fact I’m running my 1st 1/2 marathon on January 26 2014 and it will de dedicated to you! You are one of my favorite super Heros! You’re also one of the few people that can still make me cry!
Your friend,
Tim
Tim, you are too much! Thanks for dedicating you run. WoW!
Wonderful Nicole! You put a smile on my face. So happy for you!
Amy, Thanks!
Glad you had a really great day out. The costume is really YOU!
Laurie, Thanks!I did feel pretty good in that get up!