I’d first just like to remit a disclaimer here that I’m not endorsing anything or anyone. Although, I wouldn’t be opposed to someone throwing money my way!

I wonder if there is an element of forgiveness or un-forgiveness all wrapped up in my pursuit with MS? I try to write away these emotions. But still, often I’m a ball of negativity. Pick your poison: anger, jealousy, weariness, etc. I only mention this because I’m presently reading Let it Go by T.D. Jakes. I’m pretty sure this book wasn’t intended for my medical dilemmas but the more I read the more I recognize myself in between the lines. I mean I’m fairly transparent about my ill will toward this monstrous disease but it’s those sentiments that Jakes speaks of in this book that I need to work on. Granted, I’m less than half way finished, but I’m getting the idea there is something here I can learn from yet another unlikely source. T.D. Jakes!

The complicated thing is that there’s no one person that has committed an offense against me. It’s a disease. It’s a disease that has stolen many of my faculties. I use my hate for MS to help me endure the losses I am living with. Jakes is asking us to look at the bigger picture and recognize that what may have once allowed [me] to survive both holds [me] back now and threatens [my] existence. Like I use to be able to safely drive and cook, but now both activities done by me alone threaten all involved. The things I once did as second nature endanger my existence in this new normal because those things are no longer second nature. They are hard, and that makes me livid!

I think he’s saying not to look at the immediate offense (my fatigue, lack of walking and driving). But instead widen the picture to capture my supportive family and friends and that includes forgiveness of what is due to Multiple Sclerosis. I know this is confusing. I barely got it myself. I’m still marinating on the idea. But I just got a feeling it may be worthwhile to finish this read. Because right now forgiving MS is impossible.


So I have to be honest here. A few weeks have passed and I still haven’t finished the book much less forgiven MS. It’s probably a good read just not for me. I can accept MS and appreciate all the people it has brought my way, but forgive it? That’s too much to ask!!

Check out some books that have helped me deal with MS.

My New Normals Book List