“The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.” ~ Amelia Earhart
I’ve become a spectator in my own life. No control. No say. No power over what’s happening to me. And it’s my own fault. I let someone else be the driver while I comfortably recline back in the passenger seat. Hypnotized by the easy route. I’ve become no more than a passionless piece of cargo being hauled from one doctor’s appointment to another. Drawn to the effortlessness of an unperturbed existence. Where all decisions about my life are left up to others and I’m pretty much unseen.
Apathy is like being trapped in an endless tunnel with only a glimmer of sunlight in the forefront. And once you reach the tunnel’s end, the light quickly disappears and you continue on the same dark road as before. I’ve been down this path so many times I’ve memorized the way. There’s no need for directions. I just sit back and let life happen to me.
This occurs because I’m scared to take charge. So much, I shrink from the anxiety of making decisions. At times, I feel so small; nothing grows but my fears about the future.
If I let other people make my choices, I’ll have someone to blame. I’ll have someone to point the finger at when things don’t go right.
But I’m growing tired of thinking this way. I recognize I need to be the driver and take control. So instead of blindly following a course, piloted by someone else. I am taking back the wheel and telling everyone, “Look at me! I’m the captain now! I’m in charge of my life!”