I admit life can be tricky for the best (healthiest) of us. But, if you’re hauling around an extra burden named Multiple Sclerosis or any chronic condition the disease can divert the course of not only your life, but those closest to you as well.
Today was a good day. All my health aliments remained still and allowed me to live life! I have to start by saying that I am fortunate to have a mate that continues to look pass this horrific disease and love me despite it. He more than tolerates it. He unpretentiously accommodates it to fit into the daily routines of our marriage.
For a change of pace, I had coffee at a local shop with an old friend! Tommy made sure I was okay and left to tend to his own endeavors. I in turn, dressed myself, combed my hair, and put on make up for a change! As my friend was on her way up to the apartment, I got my walker and door keys and was ready to greet her. I didn’t even take my wheelchair out of the closet because I had pre-planned every step of the outing. My friend made sure the shop was handicap accessible (no stairs) and her truck had room for my walker. She arrived with hugs and smiles and then we left.
My friend, who also happens to have M.S., hadn’t been over to see me in a while simply because she’s been hauling around guilty feelings. We both have M.S. but hers is benign. It stays mostly dormant. She’s actually pregnant and doing quite well. I’m happy she’s doing so great. Yet, it wraps her in a blanket of guilt that her body is managing M.S. better than mine.
During our excursion she got to see that the core of Nicole had not been damaged. I’m still me. We had a great time laughing and just plain catching up. I may walk a little slower or not at all some day. We may have had to carefully plan our outings, but I’m still me.
In the end, the day turned out to be more than just an outing to get coffee.
Tommy got a break, I got to assert some independence, and my friend got to take off her guilt ridden blanket!
Three wins.
[…] More Than Coffee […]
I need to get myself together. I was thinking wow your hair looks so good in that picture. Anyone that knows you well, can probably tell how you feel based on your hair!
Kisha,
That’s funny I thought my hair looked horrible. I didn’t even want to put that picture up!
I was in your friend’s situation for most of my MS life. I can say that, now that I have walking impairments, it feels like a different disease (and perhaps it is if you listen to some). Even if your friend never gets worse, she will have lived her life with the what if and that changes the course of life forever. So her MS is still very real and potentially limiting. That said, from my own experience, I know that it would be in her best interests to embrace gratitude rather than guilt. She is clearly a good friend. Those are worth their weight in gold. As are the mates who stay and don’t flee. Both your husband and mine have defied the odds. What a blessing.
Judy,
I couldn’t have said it better!
i love seening that smile. I’m glad you had a good day with your friend.
tc,
Thanks a bunch. Look forward to seeing you soon!
Im so glad that you and your friend had a nice time :). It’s so precious the have a friend that’s ok, dropping the blanket to just be.
Maxine,
You are so right!
you made me snivel. ok that is NOT hard to do, but i love this and i am happy for all of you.
L,
These days it pretty easy to get me to snivel too!
Getting friends to dump that blanket is often the hardest thing to get them to do. Why can they not see it just gets in the way of having fun.
Mary, I know. I know. Why don’t you try being creative with it? Plus, everyone tells me the more comfortable I am, the better off we both will be.
As always, a very articulate sharing of feelings, information and experiences. You are a gift to our community. So glad you had a good day – and time with your friend. What a gift to her as well – to be able to shed that silly guilt. Thanks for always being so willing to include us in your life! 🙂 Be well.
Kathy, Wow! Thanks! 🙂
When I saw the title, I was prepared for one of the combat inspiring posts on the merits or demerit on the combination of cafeine and MS. I was all ready for my favorite quote of, “They can take my coffee mug when they pry it from my cold dead hands.”
Then I read a nice post. I’m glad you had a good time away. We all need a break from the loneliness of remaining stationary save for efforts meant to forstall a disease. Some times we all just need the world to shut up for a moment so we can take a moment to enjoy the little things which make putting up with all the treatments worthwhile.
Geof, Fooled ya!
I feel the same way about my coffee. That is one of the things I don’t plan on giving up.
@ Nicole you are a inspiration. My husband is the same way about my disease he is always making sure he accomodate me and this disease. However I think I sale myself short by not getting out more often, but then it could be due to the fatigue. Stay Well Everyone!
Angela,
I don’t care either… I love my coffee. Thanks so much. I hope I can continue to live up to that…make sure to hold me accountable! As for our husbands we are truly blessed.
Wonderful news Nicole. Outing with a friend and between the two of you made through the storm of feelings and re-bonded the friendship. Using a walker and not wheelchair made me smile of such happiness for you. One day at a time and you are living it! I pray more good days for you.
Nancy, Thanks a bunch. It did feel good!
Great for you!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coop, Great for both of us!
Great story nicole! Keep keeping on!
Antron, I feel like I have my own cheering section!
Beautifully written again Nicole. It must be hard for your friend to take off her blanket, but probably also lovely for her to see that your essence which she loved you for all along is still alive and kicking.
Lee-Anne, I highly reccomend taking off any blanket you may have!
Bravo Nicole, all good stuff!
Atheana thanks my friend.
A good had by all! Thank God for the good days ~ Thanks, Michelle.
Lorie, Yes it was!