One of my best friends recently emailed me a picture of myself. Multiple Sclerosis was nowhere to be seen. As I continuously stare at the photo I remember that time in my life. It wasn’t that long ago, but M.S. tends to age you!
She’s not carrying a burden.
She’s not hiding.
She’s not tired.
She’s happy and content. I remember her. This personalizes what my therapist has been trying to get me to come to terms with. That is, I am so much more than multiple sclerosis. I have hobbies, talents, friends, and a supportive family that supersedes M.S. and its effects.
I’m out of the Cave of Pity. I guess I was in there for about two weeks.
A visit from some family members was the final catalyst that compelled me from my depressive state of mind. To top it off they brought me a wonderful bouquet of roses!
We sat, reminisced, laughed and just did the things that families do. All the while, two of my family members are combating their own health ninjas. At times, I recognized the subtle downward glances and stillness. I heard unspoken words. But also heard strong voices and felt their capacity to care for me. I saw their personalities shining through. Although, our disease processes are very different, there are some commonalties we share. I recognize and respect both the unanimity and variances of our situations.
Their visit reminded me that regardless of inopportune circumstances, life still goes on. The important thing is how you respond to adverse situations.
Can the essence of who we are continue to persist despite…?? I am beginning to believe it can.
Are you free tomorrow??? Let’s go out in this beautiful weather and do whatever you want. I love you so very much. You inspire me and always teach me. Call you in the morning dear beautiful friend.
Andrea,
Yes, I’ll be here tomorrow. You are so sweet!
Nicole
Glad you made it out of the cave, Nicole! The world needs the light of your smile and the energy of your attitude.
Kayla. Thanks! “the light of your smile” It doesn’t get much better than that!
Nicole
Thank you. It’s quite easy to forget I am not the only person/SOUL feeling this way. Everyone thinks, “oh I was so thin in college” or “back then..” bur I feel MS gave me a huge jump start on that thinking. I’ve been mourning my “better” self since I was 19. I barely remember her, seems like most days are a mockery of what “should have been.”. Yet what else would it be? Who else would I be?
Liana,
You are so right. Who else would I be? That’s what this entire site is about. That’s what I’m looking for!
Nicole
Can the essence of who we are continue to persist despite”…Although I struggle with the same question…I believe the answer is yes! I am happy to hear you have come out of the cave.
Karen, It’s nice to be out. That question is a revolving door.
Nicole
To see you smiling, is so great. I try not to be depressed, but sometimes it’s just hard. I don’t complain anymore though. I have seen people in worst condition than mine. I’m still able to walk with no aid, drive.. so how do I have the right to complain. I know there’s a cure coming…just waiting for it. Keep being a inspiration 🙂
Valerie,
I feel like when I allow myself to feel depress . MS is getting the best of me. It’s winning. That’s usually turns my climb back up hill, because I will be Damn if I let it have the last word. One day I could walk and drive and complained now I do neither…and still complain!!!!
Nicole
I LOVE IT!!!! THIS POST IS RIGHT ON TIME!!!! I HAVE BEEN WRITING TO EASE MY MIND. JUST DON’T WANT TO PUT IT ON HERE.
Kshanski,
Thanks! No worries. Just keep writing.
Nicole
Wow, thats all I can say for now, need to digest what you have said.Istill drive but this all hits me real hard. I used to be…I used to do…
Dawn,
Take your time and smile and digest if you need!
Nicole:)