Serenity Now

This is the only life I have.

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~ Unknown

I came across this quote at such a crucial juncture on my MS-laden journey. Before then I had no direction and I was not sure where my life was headed. MS overshadowed me. It had led me to inconceivable places and situations.

That simple sentence helped me to redirect my course. I realize now that acceptance is something that I’ll be doing over and over again. Like steadily peeling off the layers of an onion.

But even with over 15 years of experience, sometimes I find myself going off course. Once I realize what is happening I try to get back on track. I have to overcome my childish demeanor, which is usually fueled by anger and sadness. Unfortunately this behavior steers me miles away from the island of acceptance I am continuously headed toward.

In my consistent search for serenity, I’ve learned it’s not a stagnate place. It moves. And always seems to elude me.

Even when I thought I owned it. When I thought I was there. When I was standing right in its midst, I looked around and no longer recognized myself.

Serenity is a state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. Almost the total opposite of what I’ve been living due to my unwanted companion. How can I accept this? Why should I embrace this life?

Because it’s the only one I have.

I can’t trade it in. At my lowest point if I need to rest, then indeed I shall stop and rest. In fact, if I can be proactive and not let it get to that point that would be even better! What I know for sure is that I’m drifting closer to that oasis called serenity. Closer yet again to acceptance of what is. No matter how different it may be from what I want or planned.

Author: Nicole Lemelle

My name is Nicole Lemelle. I am a writer, activist and a person living with Multiple Sclerosis. I created My New Normals to educate those who do not understand MS, reassure people with similar plights and inspire everyone to seize command of their lives.

10 thoughts on “Serenity Now”

  1. Yea Nicole! You nailed it. The calm before the storm and then the calm once again. I have had MS for as long as I can remember (I’m 55) After my diagnosis in 2006 I was scared but relieved to know what I had. Determined that I wasn’t going to let MS win I would set my body up for failure by making lists of things that I just HAD to get done that day! And then I would crash after a couple of hours struggling on the 1st thing then I would have a huge temper tantrum. No more lists. These days I do what Linda Burke does. I think about things that I am greatful for. It is dif for everyone. Since I spend most of my time in bed my husband wanted to create a space that is comfortable and has things in it that I love. Picture Pier1 and that is where I am! I have a great husband. He hates Pier1 and knows I love it. I couldn’t ask for a more loving, forgiving and supportive husband. So glad that you are feeling stronger on the inside. It is a journey that’s for sure. Barb

  2. I too have very recently come to the position of acceptance, after many years of battling illness. It is surprisingly calming, and not an indication that I have given up. It’s the opposite. I’ve finally accepted who I am today, not who I was yesterday, and that brings me peace. Reading your post, has helped me name it.

  3. I can really connect with this post Nicole. When those moments come, I ask myself what three things am I grateful for right at that time — it often helps with that trade….

  4. I can soooo relate, Nicole

    A couple of books that have really helped me. I have had these books for years, way before MS decided to show up..

    The Language of Letting Go
    Melody Beattie

    You Can Heal Your Life
    Louise L Hay

    Take care my friend

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