“People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.” - Helen Keller
Just like everyone else, my life is a habitual attempt to achieve goals. Reaching, with our arms out in front of us, trying to grasp our greatest moments that we believe have yet to come. It’s a grand pursuit that we all have in common. But in that constant chase, the difference between most people and me is the fear that my highest achievements in life are behind me. I worry that my best days are now only realized through reminiscing.
Once MS took over my body, I re-entered the world as a different person. I have a pain that no one sees, my confidence is tested everyday and I have to accept that I can’t do all the things I use to do. The hardest part is learning to live in my new normals. I need to not fight it so much; instead I have to learn to accomplish things within my limitations. I need to surrender to reality. Once I do that, then I’ll be able to face the truth and concentrate on legitimate existing solutions and answers in my pursuit of happiness.
I must remember that I don’t possess my future. No one does. My new goal is to focus on what’s happening at this instant. Living in the moment.
Reminiscing can be fun but when you play the past over and over in your head, it becomes impossible to focus on happily living in the now.
Hi Nicole my husband has said to me for many years now “that is why they call it the past” At times it would make me angry to hear that, but all in all he is right. After my diagnosis he told me that I have to find “my new normal” again he was spot on. When I first found your blog with that title, I had to check it out immediately. So glad I did !! I know we all have our own daily struggles, however, you have a beautiful mind and your thoughts speak for all of us. You are still in control ! Again please know how much your thoughts are appreciated. Thank you for sharing with us each week. You have truly made a difference in my life. Thanks!
Nicole, you know I am a big fan of Babba Ram Das “Be here now.” Living in the moment is the only way I can survive. The future is too scary.
I guess we all need to live in the moment and prevent the past and the future from encroaching little by little .
Such a good reminder. I need to post this so I see it every morning… I find myself looking back and not being in the moment. I look forward to your posts. Thank you.
hymn: He Giveth More Grace
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater: He sendeth more strength when the labors increase, To added affliction He addeth His mercy. To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store or endurance; When our strenth has failed ere the day is half done, when we reach the end of our hoarded resources, our fathers’s full giving is only begun.
His love has no limit; his grace has no measure; his power has no boundary known unto men, for out of his infinite riches in Jesus, he giveth and giveth, and giveth again!
Words written by Annit Johnson Flint
Learned in church on Sunday that she had bad crippling arthritis since a teenager, even though she longed to be a great pianist. Ministered to me — thought it might to you also.
This is one of your best,you put so many of my thoughts into words and I thank you for that.
What a great post-
You are right… if we try to live through the past, we can’t live for the present!
Every year, I write the same 5 lines on an anniversary card for my wife,
“Walk with me.
Grow old with me.
Stay with me.
The best is yet to be.
This I believe.”
I try to remember so many of our greatest accomplishments come from our ability to relate and express to other people. I look at my MS and what it costs me and my family, and I try to take solace in our forced closeness. With all my children experience within the healthcare system, maybe my MS has allowed me to be a better advocate for them. Growing up with a dad with MS, maybe they will be more perceptive and kind towards others with medical issues or not feel as awkward about their own conditions.
Who we reach and how we reach them seems as good a measuring stick as others I have used for myself in the past, and thus far MS has not limited me under this measure.
Love this Nicole. Very true and so encouraging to read.
This is so true, thanks for surfacing.I know we all think of this subconsciously it’s so difficult to come to grips with at times.It is so good to know others face the same issues day to day.
Thank you for this reminder! It has been so easy to focus on the many things I have lost in the short time that MS has been my companion, but you are so right, it is impossible to be happy in the now when I am focused on the past. There are many times when I hate what MS has done to me, but I also know there are so many happy moments in my life today. I sure would hate to miss out on the amazing things in my life because I am focused on what I used to have.
What a thought provoking post. I needed this reminder. Live in this moment for it will never come again.