“People do not like to think. If one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.” - Helen Keller
Just like everyone else, my life is a habitual attempt to achieve goals. Reaching, with our arms out in front of us, trying to grasp our greatest moments that we believe have yet to come. It’s a grand pursuit that we all have in common. But in that constant chase, the difference between most people and me is the fear that my highest achievements in life are behind me. I worry that my best days are now only realized through reminiscing.
Once MS took over my body, I re-entered the world as a different person. I have a pain that no one sees, my confidence is tested everyday and I have to accept that I can’t do all the things I use to do. The hardest part is learning to live in my new normals. I need to not fight it so much; instead I have to learn to accomplish things within my limitations. I need to surrender to reality. Once I do that, then I’ll be able to face the truth and concentrate on legitimate existing solutions and answers in my pursuit of happiness.
I must remember that I don’t possess my future. No one does. My new goal is to focus on what’s happening at this instant. Living in the moment.
Reminiscing can be fun but when you play the past over and over in your head, it becomes impossible to focus on happily living in the now.