Sometime ago, I promised myself to keep moving forward with MS instead of letting it drag me into an abyss of loneliness, self-pity, anger, and depression. I reluctantly accepted the fact that it’s highly likely I will never walk again. Of course that comprises all the things that are included with the privilege of walking, such as driving and any semblance of independence.
Now I am having problems with my hands! I’ve mentioned that I need help completing common daily tasks, like combing my hair and using my computer mouse. I just do not have the physical strength anymore. I’m using dictation software now because of it. But it’s so much more than not being able to type or open a jar of peanut butter. Usually in the morning I’m okay, but as the day progresses my functionality diminishes.
My worse nightmare came true years ago when I was relegated to a wheelchair. And guess what? I adapted and survived it. A fellow blogger reminded me, “all the things that I’ve been afraid of, or worried about in the past, are water under the bridge now.” So much truth resonated in those words. The life I lead now was unimaginable to the former able-bodied Nicole. But I’m still here and I’m going to lean toward life.
It won’t be easy, but at least I’m not alone. My goal is to be satisfied with what I have and take delight in the way things are.
A very tall order for anybody.