For as long as I can remember I’ve been intrigued by the self-help genre. It started when I was younger with diet and exercise. Now it’s years later and I have delved into just about everything under the sun. I guess I’ve always been trying to “fix” myself. This started way before the dawn of Multiple Sclerosis. It’s hard to believe but I find that kind of comforting.
I’ve looked for help from Jesus to Dr. Phil to Buddha and everyone in between. My family kindly makes fun of this. I use to literally copy chapters out of the newest book I was reading and mail them to my sister. I guess that’s why she avoids checking her mail to this day. Or is that a bit self absorbed on my part???? As a matter of fact, I just I sent a Buddhist email to my mother. Some habits die hard. Something is gonna have to give or I may just alienate my entire family!
Anyway, as I was reading my latest guru they suggested accepting or welcoming each moment as it comes. As a matter of fact, they even boast considering misfortune as a blessing. Even in the context of M.S.? As I continued reading it said that ALL adversity should be considered. So, I guess the answer is yes. Imagine that? Life just goes on…no matter what’s happening with us inside. So, in the midst of my unpredictable debilitating chronic progressive disease or maybe even your situation, life doesn’t acknowledge either one of them. That doesn’t seem fair! Can I at least get the benefit of the doubt?
I guess the best thing we can do is work around our problems and move on however we can.
Is that it? Because through all my reading I certainly don’t know.
Like they say, “I’m a work in progress.”
Beautifully said. A work in progress…
ellajean, Thanks!
When I look back, many of the worst things physically turned out to be great preparation for the future. For example, having testicular torsion made me view pain in a completely different light. I can honestly say it’s not something I fear because I know when it gets too bad the world will just go to the all snow channel followed quickly by the white out (not black out in my experience despite that being how it’s portrayed in pop culture though maybe some experience it that way). Likewise, being prevented from playing soccer by my high-school coach anytime I limped mad me master breaking down my walk to address small problems with my legs. I can’t tell you how many days since I had my first flare I’ve spent walking slowly to analyze each step and correct my walk.
Still, some days I am the dog, and other days I’m the fire hydrant. Some days are just like this, even in Australia.
well lived, You are so very right.
Hi Nicole,
your latest post , Work in Progress, is written so beautifully.
I think that no matter what life hands each of us, we are all a continual work in progress.
Liz M.
Liz, Thanks for the complement! I agree we are all a work in progress.
Beautifully written.. like I always say..life happens so I accept and adapt! Plus the support from twitter MSer’s is fantastic..keep up the great attitude!! Peace
btw was raised catholic but now happy to be atheist .. it’s more about basic human rights anyway…so no matter your religious preference and I respect all..they all share same message ..treat others the way you want to be treated.
Chuck,
Thanks for the read and comment. Yeah they are great!
We are always a work in progress. The only constant in life is change. You can bet on it. One thing my friend used to say “Life is not fair, a fair is where you eat cotton candy.”Just had to add my two cents.
Lisa, Much appreciated!
The only thing bigger than fear is hope. I am trying to maintain function in my feet and my memory it is making me stressed when i requested a medication change my neuros nurse told me to destress and meditate. She is right, instead of more medication I need to find a way to be thankful…this requires the heart of a warrior. A real warrior soldiering on. Nicole, you are brave to be a voice! Next stop….meditation and yoga! Hugs, olivia
Olivia, Thanks
I hope I didn’t come across as preachy. I was just repeating the same things I keep telling myself – and sometimes it actually helps me keep on keeping on. It (acceptance) is a long, complicated process but worth of working toward.
I belong to a Mindfulness meditation group, mainly because that’s what’s available right close to home. Nice people who think much the way I do. No one in that group considers me “weird”. They don’t use mantras, it’s more about being fully aware of the present moment and all it contains. They say it’s a non-religious type of meditation, but it stems from Buddhism, they teach Buddhist chants, and ask everyone to bow to the Buddha at the end of the meditation. We have a wonderful mix of religions and nationalities represented in our group, which makes it fun. I abstain from bowing, as does the only Mormon person in the group. For me it’s a wonderful coping mechanism and I meditate daily at home as well.
Hmmm, lots to ponder here.
Thank you to Laurie for your clarification of some basic Buddhist principles. Acceptance is a complex process.
One thing you said really stood out for me:
“So, in the midst of my unpredictable debilitating chronic progressive disease or maybe even your situation, life doesn’t acknowledge either one of them.”
I guess the point is that the essence of you continues with or without MS. You continue to be and what you chose to do with the life in your body is still within your power. That is an empowering concept really.
Thanks for getting my wheels turning!
Kim, You are so very welcome!o
Nicole, I personally have to take myself back to Buddhism 101 every day. And I don’t mind your question. I mean we’ve talked about a lot of personal stuff on your blog, haven’t we? I am Jewish. The only chanting I do is in Hebrew, they only praying I do is to my own God. I don’t bow to the statue of Buddha after meditating, as is customary. But I found peace in meditation and practicing the Buddhist precepts. I seek truth, regardless of its source. It sounds as though you do the same. Do you read Eckhart Tolle? His teachings have made a big difference in my life. I don’t feel the basic precepts of Buddhism conflict with my religious beliefs, they enhance them.
Laurie, LOL you are right we are already pretty personal! Thanks for the info, yes in my reading I do find that Buddhism and Christianity can be complementary. I just don’t think the majority of folks agree with that which certainly should’n effect me but it does. By the way, how do YOU meditate?
Thanx Laurie,
I signed up for Eckhart Tolle daily reminders, they are much appreciated, my BA is in theology, what is Buddism 101?
Angela
Angela, Buddhism 101 is just a saying I used like. Math 101 or Spanish 101
Yes, I’ve read Eckart as well.
Funny:) But that isn’t the reason I dont check the mail. . . bills are! lol
Danielle, You are so funny! And you read FAST!
A lot to think about here! “…considering misfortune as a blessing…”? Not quite sure about that one. I’m still seeing it as a curse or punishment. Perhaps I need to adjust my thinking!
Peace,
Muff
Muff!
I know what you mean! Maybe after I finish this book I’ll be more equip to answer!
A few months ago I went to a meditation retreat on the assurance that everything was handicap accessible and would be no problem for me in my wheelchair. Once we got settled, the group proceeded up a steep grassy hill to find a nice spot to meditate. I was left totally alone on the concrete slab below.
One of the Buddhist monks – who is also a practicing psychiatrist – noticed me and spent a couple hours sitting and talking with me while the rest of the group meditated. I’ve studied Buddhism for years so the concepts aren’t new to me, but he explained things so well. As far as accepting things just the way they are, he said imagine looking at a young sapling. Whether I accept its thin branches and tiny leaves as they or – or whether I do not – this will not change the fact that it will grow into a big tree. Accepting the present moment does not mean it will never change. Acceptance can be a catalyst for change, in some cases.
You used the phrase “considering misfortune a blessing”. But the concepts of misfortune and blessing are both labels that we bestow on circumstances. If we could avoid labeling circumstances as good or bad, we would be on our way to true “being”. In Buddhism, all suffering is caused by attachment. Wanting what we don’t have, or having what we don’t want (such as illness). Imagine how much easier life would be if we could stop wanting. I’m not there yet, but just being aware of this concept has helped me at times.
Laurie, that was like Buddhism 101. Thanks for the reminders. I don’t often reveal how involved I’m in Buddhism for alienating my Christian roots. But everything you said makes perfect sense.
I’m definitely attached to the way things use to be. Do you chant also? Forgive me if that’s too personal.
So basically, it is what it is, right? That wasn’t meant sarcastic, btw. I think what you are saying is the situation just is – neither misfortune or blessing…?
Melissa, I’m no expert, but I think It’s up to us to find the blessing or goodness in the situation. Then keep moving forward!
Hi, I loved Nicole’s yoga picture and facebook comment. I have been struggling for a couple weeks now after my last relapse about my husband’s decision to not continue to try and conceive a baby. I guess accepting a new decision after an intensive plan was made with several doctors, made this news heart breaking. Because I practice yoga (not lately because of MS) and have been really interested in Buddhism made me really enjoy reading your blog and your comment Laurie. Thank you all I feel more at peace. Can you suggest any books or readings. 🙂
Ysela Nava
Thanks for the comment. Sounds like you are in the midst of some heavy decisions. I wish you all the best. Oh and my introduction to Buddhism came from this book, The Reluctant Buddhist by William Woodard.
That’s a tough one. It has changed my perspective for the better in some ways. When I have good days I don’t take them for granted anymore. Also, It’s a learning and experience for me because I can figure out what my strength and weakness ate.
That being said, I would have preferred to not have to go through this. it sucks. I hate it and am still in the anger and grieving process. Not really to blissfully coexist with this MonSter. Great post though.Certainly helps to put you in a different mindset.
Courtney, I’m glad you took a chance on this post. Even happier it put you in a different mindset. You may have heard this a before remember but the anger and grieving will probably be there for a while. You just learn how to live despite it. Or you may finally be able to experience joy once again and see the sour emotions come in ebbs and flows.
But I’m no therapist. I just play one on TV…lame I know!