Can You Relate?

It is nice to be around people who understand me.

Sometimes it’s nice being amongst those who can sincerely relate to and understand me.

Despite the sun sucking the energy right out of me at 85° Fahrenheit, I sat outside a local park coffee shop for an hour and a half and mingled with a newfound friend. She just may have thought I was drunk because I was so giddy to be in her company.

She’s actually the group leader of my local MS support group. I’ve been complaining about being lonely and bored. Lately I’ve felt confined to this condo. Once its newness wore off reality set in.

Thanks to the quasi independence my power chair affords me, I can continually visit the lobby, the mailboxes, and the sitting area. I’ve befriended just about all the employees in the building. I wonder if when they see me they say, “Oh my here she comes again.” Regardless, I love getting dressed and yelling to Tommy, “I’ll be back soon!”

I am beginning to almost physically feel the degrees of separation between my closest friends and I expanding. It’s no ones fault. It’s just a function of time, proximity and the business of life. I mentioned I was bored and lonely in my monthly MS support group meeting. The next day the leader called me up and invited me out for coffee! What a trooper.

At the park

Don’t get me wrong, horseback riding and Tommy are great. I just need more female camaraderie. The point is sometimes you’ve just got to go out and get what you want for yourself. And that’s exactly what I did.

In turn that makes me feel…well…PROUD!!!

Plus my sister is coming back in town Friday. It can’t get any better than that.

Author: Nicole Lemelle

My name is Nicole Lemelle. I am a writer, activist and a person living with Multiple Sclerosis. I created My New Normals to educate those who do not understand MS, reassure people with similar plights and inspire everyone to seize command of their lives.

35 thoughts on “Can You Relate?”

  1. Sis,

    if you are missing female interaction/commaradie…feel free to contact me. Nothing beats a friend who is physically there..but we can do the next best thing……..We can communicate and communication in this life is KEY!!!
    I am inspired by who you are and what you do and would consider you an invaluable resource in not only my personal MS battle but I would love to be more active as an activist, advocate, spokeswoman, etc in this struggle………………………

  2. Nicole, I so love your blog. I always learn something from it. I live in Jackson, MS and when the weather cools off, I will be coming to NOLA. I would love to meet you for some girl talk and giggles!

  3. When I got over my mental barriers, and decided to use my scooter, it set me free! I can now participate in life, doing the things I was missing..

  4. YEPPERS, I can relate. It is a big step not to mention change when you have to rely on other assitive devices in order to get around, but it is so good for the soul to be able to get out & about. I live out in the boonies, so there aren’t very many places for me to go, but I have ramps outside which allow me to putz around, even if only for a short time.

  5. Another great post !!! It’s amazing how a scooter or a power chair can really liberate you. So many people are so scared of getting their wheels, only to later find out how much more they can do once they are no longer tied to their crutches, canes or walkers. I am still ambulatory despite having PPMS since ’85, but I have no fear of the day that is fast approaching when it will be time for me to trade up. Thanks again for helping to spread the word that you don’t have to be locked away due to this crummy, rotten disease…Take care.

  6. I too can relate.. still have friends, not that I had many before.. just a small circle, but it certainly is not the same.. and I am a talker, I needed to talk and listen to others who really got it.. along with another woman we started our own group.. there was nothing before.. and it has been as amazing a journey as has been my ms.. not only did I need to get things out.. but so did others .. and it’s good to know that we have such a safe and comfortable place ( a support group ) to be able to do exactly that.. help one another.. fortunately for us.. there has not been too much of the whining going on,.. just lots of talking and listening and then sharing of ideas that help us to realize that we are not alone.. I am glad Nicole that you too have such a place..

  7. I can totally relate!! You of all people know that. Once I got over the stigma, the sorrowful stares and let go of my pride, I have been having a ball!!!! Your pictures and blog, plus the fussing inspired me to get out of the house!!!!! Lol

  8. You are just fulfilling your destiny and when you put it out there the right people will come into your life just when you need them. You are always so giddy to me and happy. Wish I didn’t live so far, but you know your crew got your back.

  9. Hi! I could definitely relate! My old apt was up these seven stairs.. seven stairs to others but an 30min struggle with son’s help. I stayed in house all the time. I’ve since moved to a more handicap accessible building and I try to go out with my lil scooter all the time.
    We just can’t let anything stop us.

  10. It’s nice to go out and be with friends. Sometimes I feel trapped here in my house. I’m fortunate in that two of my dearest friends are nurses, and both have had some health issues. So I don’t have to hide how I feel. They get it.
    There’s no MS support groups in my area — I checked — and I’m too lazy to start one. So glad you’re in a good one!
    Peace,
    Muff

  11. Hi,
    I know how this sounds, but I am a healer, and can ‘probably’ heal you of MS. I say probably because some illnesses are the result of energy sent out, like a radio wave, coming back for the learning experience.

    But these type of illnesses are far and few between, because a truly karmic illnesses is impossible to cure.

    For example I know a guy with a tumor in his spinal cord, in his neck. This is quite characteristic, because it cannot be operated upon. It’s ironic that this guy is not very nice to his friends or family.

    I wouldn’t waste my time healing him, because I know it would be impossible.

    When I say ‘healer’ I really mean psychic surgery. This is somewhat different in that it operates on ones mental, astral, and physical bodies.

    Many disciplines concentrate on only one body. The nadir of many illnesses flows from this point like damp air wets clothes, which produces a mold.

    Killing the mold does not cure the problem. Dry clothes will not cure it either, because it is in the air. Although the mold is also a part of the problem.

    What I’m saying is the the root of disease, is deeper than just the physical body.

    I healed a guy recently. He has severe back / spinal problems (get a lot of those) which doctors cannot find a cure for.

    He was driving back from Brno to Prague, when he felt as if there was someone behind him. then waves of positive energy washed over him, at the exact time i was doing the healing (with God’s help).

    His back is now fine, after more work. I think maybe he felt it more so, because when driving, one is sort of in a deep meditation, especially at night?

    He is an author on amazon, and told me if I need a reference, he will go with that.

    I have also cured low blood pressure, migraines, and lots of others.

    Anyway, If you like, I can attempt to heal you. but you must go with your feelings and decide if this is right for you.

    I think you probably have this comment awaiting approval, so I don’t fear it coming up on your blog, and you can delete this if you want.
    drwho@privatdemail.net

    1. Michaell, Yes, your comment was waiting for approval as is all of comments do. I approved it because although I may not be up for it some other reader may be. Thank you for the opportunity.

  12. Nicole,
    I can absolutely relate to how you are feeling. Thank you for sharing! I have found that my friends are there — just not in the same way that they were there for me before my illness. Happy to hear that your group coordinator was so responsive to your needs! Recently I have been reading books by Brene Brown, whose work on shame and vulnerability have shown me a great deal about myself and how I am dealing with this MS journey. It helps to remember that regardless of appearances, no one is perfect (another of Brown’s books is called The Gift of Imperfection), and that is more than OK. Our challenges may be more obvious to the naked eye, but we are both learning ways to win every day — please celebrate the small victories, and good luck!!!!

  13. Good for you, Nicole It is great that you can get out and enjoy.
    I was invited to a baby shower last month and am glad I went. I had a magnificent time. Next month I’m suppose to attend a women’s social. I started not to respond but I said “Why not. Go and enjoy. Make the best of it”.
    It really does feel nice to be amongst people who understand. Do what you can when you can.

    Take care!

  14. Nicole,
    It IS nice to share time with others going through the same emotions & problems you are facing.
    A few years ago, I reluctantly attended a support group meeting and have been a regular ever since. My biggest reservation against a group meeting was that I thought it would be a group of MSers whining & complaining about their situations (I didn’t need that because I was still having trouble accepting my own dx.) But this group was just the opposite—positive & empowering.
    Very glad you have found a group to help you through the web we weave.
    Stay strong!

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